The best communication jokes

Little Johnny comes home from school, and his mom asks: "Johnny, how did it go with your exam? Was written or oral?" And Johnny says: "Mom, I think it was anal... 'Cuz it went like shit!"
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has 64.93 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: communication, little Johnny, school, vulgar
Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: communication, fitness, IT
When somebody is totally angry, why not say: "Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, communication, geek
I was walking down the street with my wife earlier when she accused me of being ashamed to be seen with her. "That's total bollocks" I replied. By text, from across the road.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean
I would tell a joke about a bed, but it hasn't been made up yet.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: communication
St. Peter was sat next to the god in heaven when the all of a sudden the pearly gates started to rattle. God said to Peter,"go and see who is rattling the gates." Peter ran down the stairway to heaven and opened the pearly gates and there stood a dirty unwashed man in a vest. Peter looked the man up and down and said "yes' can I help you?" The man replied in a broad Irish accent, "Top of the mornin to ya sur, would the good lord have any scrap he be not wanting?" St. Peter stood silent for a moment then said: "wait here a moment." Peter shut the gate and ran back up the stairway to heaven and said to God, "It's Pykies my lord, wanting scrap." God says to St. Peter "Shit! Lock everything up and hide the keys, then go back down and tell them to bugger off!" Peter runs down the stairway to heaven opens the gate and tells "the pykie to bugger off, slams the pearly gates shut and locks it. Peter returns to the lord." God says to Peter, "we'll give it half hour then go and see if they have gone." A half hour passed. "Peter! Go and see if they have gone!" Peter runs down the stairway to heaven then returns to God panting and says to God "They have gone, my Lord!" "Good" says God, "and so have the pearly gates, my lord."
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: communication, god, heaven, mean, time
Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? Bless you.
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has 64.84 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: communication, knock-knock
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, sex
A man is visiting a foreign country but does not speak the language that they speak there. He decides to go to a church service, but the priest is speaking the native language, so the American man just does whatever the man in front of him does. When the man in front of him stands, so does the American man. When the man in front of him sits, so does the American man. At one point, the priest says something, and the man in front of him stood. So the American man stood too. Everyone in the church gasped, so the American man hurriedly sat back down. Later, the American man figured out that the priest was congratulating a birth. When he had asked who was the father, and both men stood up, it had caused some confusion!
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: baby, church, communication, dad, ethnic
My girlfriend told me that will change me. I thought she was referring to the character, but she found a new boyfriend!
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has 64.69 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: communication, couple, love, relationship, single
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