Q: What do you call a pot of angry water? A: Boiling mad.
Just had an argument with the manager in McDonald's. What a clown!
Your mama's so fat she asked for a water bed and we threw a blanket on the ocean.
I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
My 3-year-old granddaughter, Sydney, told my husband, Ted, and me that she was going fishing with her dad. Ted asked if she was going to use worms. "No," she said. "I'm going to use a fishing pole."
The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate? A: Pork Chop.
"Have you got the address of the butter website?" "Yes, but don't spread it around."
Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
When Chuck Norris makes a joke on this website, everyone starts to make bad jokes because they didn't want to anger Chuck Norris.