Two men were talking: First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?" Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
A girlfriend said to me during sex that I should be a little more graceful, so I went to ballet classes!
Yo mama told me that she had some wrinkles in her feet ; I suggested to wear stocking. She said : "Woo it is 50 years that I am wearing pants the chink of her ass hadn't been recovery!"
Q: What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl? A: "Just flush it like everybody else does."
On the first day of the deer hunting season, a hunter fell out of a deer stand and broke both his legs. "Why couldn't this happen on my last day of hunting?!" the hunter cried to the doctor. "It did," the doctor replied.
Teacher: "What does a duck say?" Jenny: "Quack Quack" Teacher: "What does a cow say?" Madison: "Moo" Teacher: "What does a pig say?" Little Johnny: "A pig says *holds up gun* get on the wall, you motherfucker!"
One day little Johnny was playing on his push car that u sit on and push with your feet. His looked like a bus, and as such he was the bus driver. Little Johnny would drive a little, stop, and say "all you mother fuckers that want to get on, get on. And all you mother fuckers that want to get off, get off." His mother was in the kitchen and thought surely I didn't hear him correctly. But then once again, little Johnny stopped and said "all you mother fuckers that want to get on, get on. And all you mother fuckers that want t o get off, get off." So him mom came running out and told her young son he was to go to his room 'till he learned to play right. About 20 minutes later Johnny came out to play. Be reassured his mom he learned his lesson. So, back on his bus, he began driving around again. He stopped and said "all you nice people that want to get off, get off. And all you nice people that want to get on, get on. And all you mother fuckers that want to know why I'm late, ask the bitch in the kitchen.
Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
Your mama's so fat she asked for a water bed and we threw a blanket on the ocean.