Librarians may be shy, but their patrons aren't.
Look at their oddball requests:
A patron offered me $100 to steal a cactus from somebody's yard.
A patron wanted me to find a book to teach her dog german.
A patron on his way to the casino asked to rub my red hair for luck.
A patron once asked me for my home phone number so she could call me with reference questions when I wasn't at work.
Q: What is astronauts favorite game in space?
A: Moonopoly.
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The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes.
St. Peter: "What do you want? "
Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus."
St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "
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Q: What do you call a very small valentine?
A: A valen-tiny!
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A mother without any pant was playing with her son.
The boy pointing to her mother's pussy asked: "Mammy, what is that dark wooly between your feet?
Mother: "My sweet that is a brush."
Son: "Where is it's bundle?"
Mother: "In your daddy's pant."
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Yo mama is so stupid when you asked her to grab McDonald's she brings the building home.
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My friend thinks that onion is the only fruit that can make us cry.
So I just threw the coconut up to his head, he cried then.
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Your Moma is so fat the only words she knows is the universe.
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I've asked my girlfriend to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub.
She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.
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Q: Know why skeletons are so calm?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin.
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