A man and woman were on their first date. The woman was trying to make conversation and said, "So I hear you hunt deer." The man looked away and turned red. "What's wrong?" asked the woman. "I'm not used to someone calling me dear on the first date," the man said.
Q: What do you call a pot of angry water? A: Boiling mad.
Just had an argument with the manager in McDonald's. What a clown!
Q: What do you call a dictionary on drugs? A: HIGH-Definition.
I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.
When Chuck Norris makes a joke on this website, everyone starts to make bad jokes because they didn't want to anger Chuck Norris.
Work emails are like the gym. You sign up for it thinking it will be loads of fun. You get bored of it within hours. You only keep going to keep up your reputation. The more you stay away, the harder it is to go back.
Q: What did dick say to rubber? A: "Cover me I'm going in."
After a recent football game, the team went into the locker room to get out of their uniforms and to shower. In the showers, Bubba noticed that Duke has a cork shoved up his butt-hole. So, Bubba asked, "Duke, why in the world do you have a cork up your butt?" Duke answered, "Last night when I was cleaning my antique brass lamps, a genie came out of one of them. The genie said that I had one wish. I was really startled and I replied, "No shit!"