Drunk guy gets pulled over.
Officer starts doing sobriety tests on him.
The final test the officer says "if you can pass this last test I will let u go... use the words green pink and yellow in 1 sentence."
So the drunk man replies "My phone went green and I pinked it up and said yellow. Have a nice day officer!"
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Q: What do you call a very small valentine?
A: A valen-tiny!
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Two blondes were talking together:
First: "How about your engaged Jim? Is he keeping well?"
Second: "He isn't just now my engaged."
First: Hi good news. His nose was too big and his head was bald with an ugly face!"
Second: "He is now my husband!"
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Wife: "There's something preying on my mind."
Husband: "Don't worry, it'll soon die of starvation."
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Me: "Will you Remember me in a day?"
Her: "Yes."
Me: "Will you remember me in a week?"
Her: "Yes."
Me: "Will you remember me in a month?"
Her: "Yes."
Me: "Will you remember me in a year?"
Her: "Yes."
Me: "Ok, I have a joke.
Her: "Ok."
Me: "Knock, knock."
Her: "Who's there?"
Me: "You didn't remember me."
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Knock,Knock,
Who is there?
Pen!
Pen who?
is...
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Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A: Pork Chop.
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Judge: "You are sentenced to 2 years of solitary confinement"
Me: "Thank you."
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May: "Why did you slap me?!"
Michael: "I didn't slap your face! I High fived it!"
May: "I'm going to tell mom on you when we go to the sea side!"
Micheal: "Uh, Shore you will."
May: "Don't be such a beach."
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Q: What did the basketball say to the player?
A: Please don't shoot me.
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