Q: What do you call a smart blonde? A: Bigfoot, because they don't exist.
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
Yo mama so dumb that when she looked in a mirror she yelled stop copying me.
Q: What did the basketball say to the player? A: Please don't shoot me.
Nothing makes me more suspicious than an unsolicited compliment.
"I spent the whole evening knotsurfing!" "Don't you mean netsurfing?" "No, everyone was complaining because I tied the computer up for ages!"
A white boy and a black boy were arguing one day. The white boy screams "God is white!" The black boy screams "God is black!" This goes on and on for about an hour when all of a sudden there comes a loud crack of lightning and the heavens open up and a booming voice says "I am what I am." The white boy jumps up and says "See, I told you so!" To which the black boy says "How does that prove God's white?" The white boy replies "Because if God were black he would have said, "I is what I is."
Q: What is the difference between a teenager on her rag and a terrorist? A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q: Wanna know the biggest lie my dad ever told me? A: I'll be back.
Q: What did the cow say to the other cow? A: Moo.