There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties.
Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb.
There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb.
So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb.
Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?"
The boy looks back and says "who? me?"
The man says "yes."
The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker."
The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker."
The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."
Q: If Nuts on your chest are Chestnuts and Nuts on a wall are Walnuts. What are Nuts on your chin called?
A: A Cock in the mouth!
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A girlfriend said to me during sex that I should be a little more graceful, so I went to ballet classes!
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Two blondes were repairing a roof, with one working on one side and one on the other.
After a while, one blonde noticed that her friend would carefully examine each nail before hammering it down, but half of the time she would toss the nail behind her after examining it.
Figuring that there couldn't be that many bad nails, she yelled out to her friend: "Why are you tossing out all those nails?"
"Well, those were all pointing the wrong way!" was the response.
Infuriated, the first blonde bellowed "You, idiot! Those are for my side of the roof!!"
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
FBI.
FB…
We are asking the questions here!
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Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
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Sometimes I use really big words which I don't understand to make me seem more photosynthesis.
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A really bad impressionist walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Why the wrong face?"
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A random communist leader hears about a man making jokes about him.
He organizes a feast and calls the man.
Leader: "This is how all meals will look in the future!"
Man: (looks for a few seconds at the leader then says): "I thought I was the one around with the jokes."
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Mission Statement: A long awkward sentence that demonstrates management's inability to think clearly.
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