So a dude turns to the guy next to him at a bar and asks, "Hey, you wanna hear a redneck story?"
The guy says, "Buddy, I'm six feet, 210 pounds, an' ma name's Billy Joe. You see the guy on the other side of you? That there's Bubba. He's 225 pounds of solid muscle and he's a redneck. And the boy next to him? Mike's a trucker who weighs 295 and he's a redneck, too. Now, do you still want to tell your redneck story?"
The fella says, "Naw, you're right... I'd hate to have to explain it three times!"
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A Sailor sent an e-mail to his wife, informing her that his ship would be returning from deployment a day early.
Arriving home, he found his wife with another man.
Upset, he stormed off and got a room at the Navy Lodge to decide what to do next.
His thoughts were interrupted by a call from his mother-in-law.
"Bill" she said, "I checked with my daughter and, as I expected, there is a perfectly good explanation for this whole episode."
"This I've got to hear," the Sailor said.
"It was an honest mistake," the mother-in -law said. " She never got your e-mail!"
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Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant?
A: She sneezes.
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Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: Bigfoot, because they don't exist.
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Q: What did the cow say to the other cow?
A: Moo.
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Yo mama so dumb that when she looked in a mirror she yelled stop copying me.
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Yesterday I lost my pen.
Today I saw it in my girlfriend's hand When I told her: "My PEN IS in your hand."
She began to laugh.
I don'nt why...
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"I spent the whole evening knotsurfing!"
"Don't you mean netsurfing?"
"No, everyone was complaining because I tied the computer up for ages!"
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Q: Wanna know the biggest lie my dad ever told me?
A: I'll be back.
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Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions?
I do.
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