Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women? A: men have an antenna!
A girlfriend said to me during sex that I should be a little more graceful, so I went to ballet classes!
Two blondes were repairing a roof, with one working on one side and one on the other. After a while, one blonde noticed that her friend would carefully examine each nail before hammering it down, but half of the time she would toss the nail behind her after examining it. Figuring that there couldn't be that many bad nails, she yelled out to her friend: "Why are you tossing out all those nails?" "Well, those were all pointing the wrong way!" was the response. Infuriated, the first blonde bellowed "You, idiot! Those are for my side of the roof!!"
A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking. The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in." The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
A really bad impressionist walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the wrong face?"
Q: Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches Long? A: Because if it will 12 inches then it will a foot.
A random communist leader hears about a man making jokes about him. He organizes a feast and calls the man. Leader: "This is how all meals will look in the future!" Man: (looks for a few seconds at the leader then says): "I thought I was the one around with the jokes."
Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant? A: She sneezes.
Q: What did one vegan say to the other vegan? A: We have to stop meating like this.