None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
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I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game.
This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: "your standing too close the ball".
So I adjusted my stance and took another swing.
Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing "you are too close to the ball."
So I stepped back a little more and swung.
This went on for another six swings with the same advice and finally, out of exasperation I screamed what the hell are you talking about!
The old pro said, "no no, you are too close to the ball after you hit it".
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Sometimes I use really big words which I don't understand to make me seem more photosynthesis.
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Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
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Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: Bigfoot, because they don't exist.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
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Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
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There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said
"I bet I can walk across the water."
He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said
"They did it that means I do it." ,
He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?"
Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"
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Q: What is the difference between a teenager on her rag and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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