During a conversation regarding new potential Johny's job:
"Johny, tell us and what is your weak feature?"
Johny: "Openness!"
Interviewer: "But the openness isn't a weak feature!"
Johny: "Ok, but I fuck what you think!"
Vote:
My boss is in the process of filling an open manager position.
I asked him to please hire a man because women are crazy.
He agreed with me.
I got upset that he agreed.
I'm pretty sure I unintentionally proved my point.
Vote:
I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game.
This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: "your standing too close the ball".
So I adjusted my stance and took another swing.
Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing "you are too close to the ball."
So I stepped back a little more and swung.
This went on for another six swings with the same advice and finally, out of exasperation I screamed what the hell are you talking about!
The old pro said, "no no, you are too close to the ball after you hit it".
Sometimes I use really big words which I don't understand to make me seem more photosynthesis.
Vote:
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Vote:
Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: Bigfoot, because they don't exist.
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Q: What is the difference between a teenager on her rag and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Vote:
When you have a question you check with Google.
When Google has a question they check with Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris has a question everybody better run!
Vote:
Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
Vote:
Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex?
A: freak.
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