The best communication jokes

My wife told me, "Don't get upset if someone calls you fat." "You're much bigger than that."
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has 77.17 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat, mean
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
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has 77.17 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, mean, wife
A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?" The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
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has 77.15 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: communication, geek, nerd, science, travel
I love the lines the men use to get us into bed: "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute." What am I...? A microwave?
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has 77.03 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: communication, love, men, technology, time
Can you repeat this sentence 3 times without stammering? 3 witches watch 3 Swatch watches; which witch watches which Swatch watches?
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has 77.02 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: communication
Q: Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? A: Time will tell.
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has 76.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, time
I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company. One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh. The procedure required him to delete an old file. On the Mac, there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted. I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash. Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash." Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."
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has 76.74 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, IT, marriage, technology
Anthony Weiner got in trouble with his Hispanic online name "Carlos Danger". He is now using a French online name, "Jacques Ouef".
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has 76.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: communication, ethnic, technology
A man was talking to his wife about going to the social security office. He said he would go the next day. So the next morning he goes but when he gets there he realized he forgot his license and she said that was fine she could tell his age by the hair on his chest. So he opened his shirt and everything went smoothly. He got home and told his wife what happened and she said: "well honey if you would have pulled down your pants you could have filed for disability."
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has 76.06 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, mean, sex, wife
Q: How can you tell there's an afterlife for lawyers? A: Because after they die, they lie still.
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has 76.06 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, lawyer, life