The best communication jokes

My girlfriend said she wanted a perfect holiday, so I had to stay home!
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has 77.53 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: communication, holiday, relationship
Q: How can you tell there's an afterlife for lawyers? A: Because after they die, they lie still.
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, lawyer, life
Boy: "Our principal is so stupid!" Girl: "Don't you know who I am?" Boy: "No?" Girl: "I'm the principals daughter". Boy: "Do you know who I am?" Girl: "No." Boy: "Good." *walks away quickly*
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has 77.45 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, school, stupid, vulgar
Can you repeat this sentence 3 times without stammering? 3 witches watch 3 Swatch watches; which witch watches which Swatch watches?
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has 77.36 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: communication
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
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has 77.17 % from 215 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, redneck, sex
Don't get upset if I ask you where something is in Target when you choose to wear a red shirt and khakis to shop.
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has 76.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service
Calling for information about one of my credit cards, I got the following recorded prompt: "Please enter your account number as it appears on your card or statement." I did as instructed, and the system said, "Please enter your five-digit ZIP code." After I put that in, I got a third message: "If you would like your information in English, press one."
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has 76.51 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, phone
One day a priest told the Mother Superior that he was going into town and try to convert some ladies of the evening. Later off he went and drove to a certain part of town known for the ladies of the evening. The first one he approached asked him before he had a chance to say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10" He was clueless and embarrassed and left quickly. He approached another young woman and again before he could say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10?" Again he left quickly and returned to the convent. Once back he saw Mother Superior and quietly took him aside and whispered Mother Superior "what's head?" She replied "$10.00 same as in town."
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has 76.41 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, money, priest, sex
The attorney tells the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news." "What's the bad news?" asks the accused. "The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it." "What's the good news?" "Your cholesterol is 130."
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has 76.41 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: communication, health, lawyer, prison
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
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has 76.32 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, mean, wife