The best communication jokes

A man was talking to his wife about going to the social security office. He said he would go the next day. So the next morning he goes but when he gets there he realized he forgot his license and she said that was fine she could tell his age by the hair on his chest. So he opened his shirt and everything went smoothly. He got home and told his wife what happened and she said: "well honey if you would have pulled down your pants you could have filed for disability."
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has 78.77 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, mean, sex, wife
A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board. "Sure," I said, "as long as you provide your own kennel." I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over. The customer was flummoxed: "I'll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!"
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has 78.55 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: airplane, communication, customer service, dog, stupid
Me: "Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know." Waiter: "I asked if you were dining alone." Me: "Oh, sorry. Yes."
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has 78.40 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, single
I was sat with my wife while she sipped on her glass of wine, when she said, "I love you so much, you know. I don't know how I could ever live without you." I said, "Is that you or the wine talking?" She said, "It's me talking to the wine.
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has 78.31 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: communication, love, mean, wife, wine
I love the lines the men use to get us into bed: "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute." What am I...? A microwave?
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has 78.01 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: communication, love, men, technology, time
My wife told me, "Don't get upset if someone calls you fat." "You're much bigger than that."
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has 77.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat, mean
When I arrived at a hotel in order to fill in my identities I noticed the word "sex" so I wrote: YES PLEASE.
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has 77.82 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, sex, travel
Q: Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? A: Time will tell.
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has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, time
At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion. One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head. "No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair." As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."
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has 77.64 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: beauty, business, communication, customer service, mean
A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?" The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
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has 77.59 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: communication, geek, nerd, science, travel
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