The best communication jokes

I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me, "Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it." I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.
Vote: has 78.77 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, fitness, gym, mean
Two old friends met by chance on the street. After chatting for some time, one said to the other, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've forgotten your name. You'll need to tell me." The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, "How soon do you need to know?"
Vote: has 78.59 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, friendship, memory, old people, time
Q: What are the three words you never wanna hear whilst having sex? A: "Honey I'm home."
Vote: has 78.55 % from 62 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, sex
A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong dick in future you have to eat more walnuts." Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"
Vote: has 78.55 % from 62 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dad, dirty, family, kids
English Class Teacher: "One day we will be corruption free. Which tense is it?" Student: "Future impossible tense."
Vote: has 78.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, money, school, student, teacher
My aunt died, God bless her, at a ripe old age of 104. We called her Aunt Tique.
Vote: has 78.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, black humor, communication, death, family
My girlfriend told me that will change me. I thought she was referring to the character, but she found a new boyfriend!
Vote: has 78.47 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, couple, love, relationship, single
A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?" The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Vote: has 78.15 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, geek, nerd, science, travel
A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board. "Sure," I said, "as long as you provide your own kennel." I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over. The customer was flummoxed: "I'll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!"
Vote: has 78.01 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, communication, customer service, dog, stupid
A nursing assistant, a floor nurse and a charge nurse from a small nursing home were taking a lunch break in the break room. In walks a lady dressed in silk scarves and wearing large polished-stone jewelry. "I am Gina the Great," stated the lady. "I am so pleased with the way you have taken care of my aunt that I will now grant the next three wishes!" With a wave of her hand and a puff of smoke, the room was filled with flowers, fruit and bottles of drink, proving that she did have the power to grant wishes before any of the nurses could think otherwise. The nurses quickly argued among themselves as to which one would ask for the first wish. Speaking up, the nursing assistant wished first. "I wish I were on a tropical island beach, with single, well-built men feeding me fruit and tending to my every need." With a puff of smoke, the nursing assistant was gone. The floor nurse went next. "I wish I were rich and retired, and spending my days in my own warm cabin at a ski resort with well-groomed men feeding me cocoa and doughnuts." With a puff of smoke, she too was gone. "Now, what is the last wish?" asked the lady. The charge nurse said, "I want those two back on the floor at the end of the lunch break."
Vote: has 77.74 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, food, genie, nurse, work


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