Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
Yo mama so stupid that when you told her the mouse on her computer was broken she took it to the vet.
What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles... See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles... See 83 errors, pitches computer.
If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better" Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.” The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.” And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”
A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.