The best computer jokes

A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what do they need at home? 1st kid says, "A computer." Teacher replies "That'd be very useful" 2nd kid says "A new lawn mower." Teacher replies with a similar response... Little Johnny pops up and says, "At my house we don"t need anything." The teacher asks him to think again carefully as everybody needs something... Little Johnny replies, "Nope, i'm sure of it. Whenever my sister started going out with a NIGGER, i remember my dad saying, "Well, thats the last f*cking thing we need."
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has 68.67 % from 369 votes. More jokes about: black people, computer, kids, racist, teacher
A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets in, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." The passenger asks "Who?"  The cabbie says "Frank Feldman. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Frank every single time." Passenger: "Yeah. But there are always a few clouds over everybody."  Cabbie says "Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, danced like a Broadway star, and you should have heard him play the piano." The passenger replies "Sounds like he was something really special"  Cab driver responds "There's more... he had a mind like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out." Passenger: "Wow, some incredible guy"  The cabbie goes "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me. I always seem to get stuck in them." "Passenger: "Mmm, there's not many like him around."  Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. And he's never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too." Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"  Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank." Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?" Cabbie: "I married his fucking widow..."
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has 67.98 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: car, computer, golf, marriage, time
The biggest SEO problem with trampoline websites is the high user bounce rate!
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, internet, IT, technology
90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, IT, technology, work
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.” The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.” And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”
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has 67.28 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT
Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus? It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: computer, dirty, geek, IT, viagra
Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems. They decide to throw a coin. Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard." Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT." Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, computer, IT
Q: What has a key but no lock and has space but no room? A: A computer?
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, computer, IT, technology
The box said "Requires Windows Vista or better". So I installed LINUX.
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT
Q: What do you do when your computer gets wet? A: Put it in a bowl of rice, an Asian will show up and they will fix it.
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has 65.99 % from 442 votes. More jokes about: asian, computer, racist
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