The best computer jokes

Q: What do you do when your computer gets wet? A: Put it in a bowl of rice, an Asian will show up and they will fix it.
Vote: has 69.67 % from 378 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: asian, computer, racist
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
Vote: has 69.55 % from 70 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: computer, IT, light bulb, technology
A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
Vote: has 69.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: computer, internet, IT, prison, time
Why did the computer get cold? Because it forgot to close windows.
Vote: has 69.28 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: computer, health, IT
Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, IT, technology
Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, coding, computer, geek, IT
Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers the command line.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, coding, computer, geek, IT
Three women were in a bar talking about their husbands and how they made love. The first woman said, “My husband is a psychologist, and before we make love, he brings me flowers and candy. I like that.” The second woman proclaimed, “My husband is a mechanic, he makes love a little rough, but really tunes my engine; I like that!” The third woman replied, “Well my husband works for Microsoft and all he does is sit on the edge of the bed and tell me how good it’s going to be, when I finally get it…”
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, computer, husband, love
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.” The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.” And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”
Vote: has 68.41 % from 82 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: computer, IT
Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems. They decide to throw a coin. Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard." Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT." Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, computer, IT


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