Yo mama so stupid that when you told her the mouse on her computer was broken she took it to the vet.
Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems. They decide to throw a coin. Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard." Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT." Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
Q: What do computers and air conditions have in common? A: They're both become useless when you open windows.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus? It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
A man works in the operations department of a large bank. Employees call him from the field when they have problems with their computers. One night a blonde woman from a branch bank called him and said, "I've got smoke coming from the back of my computer terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"