Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone's computer.
Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the stupid, stupid design of this computer. Every time I want to click something, I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse. And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse. Because there’s only one jack. Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself? You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer. Caller: Are you kidding me!? Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy cow. That’s going to be so much easier! Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way? Caller: Six weeks!
"Why do you keep going back to that fishing website?" "I can't help it, I'm hooked."
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Q: What will my computer printer warranty cover? A: Your mouse pad.
Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.
If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
Steve Jobs was an amazing man. He will live in my hard drive forever!
I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower. How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family: "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!" "What is it?" her sisters asked eagerly. Proudly she replied: "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"