The best cop jokes

How many L.A. cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Six. One to do it and 5 to smash the old bulb to smithereens.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: cop
Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle. Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: cop
This guy calls his wife at work and says, "Don't worry, I'm fine and the damage is minimal." She says, "Oh my gosh, what happened?" He says, "I was coming back from lunch and a bird hit my car windshield." "How much damage did it do?" she asked. "Minimal, however I did get a ticket." "A ticket how did you get that?" "Well, I managed to reach the bird through the window and throw it behind me, however it hit the windshield of the car behind me. It was a highway patrol car and the officer gave me a ticket." "What for?" she asked, "Damaging his windshield?" "No, for flipping him the bird!"
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: cop
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it turned itself in.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: cop
A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked "Did I just see you swallow something?" "Yep, that was my birth control pill," said the driver. "Birth control pill?" asked the patrolman. "Yep, when I saw your light, I knew I was screwed."
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: cop
Why do police dogs lick their balls? To get the taste of Nigger out their mouths.
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has 35.21 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, dog, racist
My wife and I have our little fights. We had a fight last week. Nothing much, only two police cars.
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: cop
A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed. When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her. Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the lady's room. Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out. The three cops were standing their waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet none of you thought I would make it."
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has 34.78 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: cop
Why does a blonde have an IQ 1 point higher than a policehorse? So she won't shit on the street during a parade.
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has 33.50 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop
Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: cop, driving, money, work
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