The best cop jokes

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.
Vote: has 36.90 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, cop, drunk, wife
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
Vote: has 36.86 % from 103 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, car, cop, phone
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman… “Mr Cook?” “Yes,” I replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.” I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
Vote: has 36.51 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cop, dog
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, drunk
Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident? A: Some dick cut her off.
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
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You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
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A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window... "Pull over!" "No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
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A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULLOVER!" "NO," the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
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How many L.A. cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Six. One to do it and 5 to smash the old bulb to smithereens.
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All my friends, we was ready for the second riot. No, not like the first one, where we were just grabbing stuff at random it wouldn't be like that. I've got a thousand boxes of Pampers; I don't know what I'm going to do with it. No, no, this time we had a list. We were going to get the stuff we need. Everybody on my block has bought a U-Haul..
Vote: has 35.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
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