The best cop jokes

The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!" "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave. The phone rings at the neighbors house. Hey, Clifford, did the FBI come?" "Yep." "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop
Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle. Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: cop
A murder has been committed. Police are called to an apartment and find a man standing, holding a 5-iron in his hands, looking at the lifeless body of a woman on the ground. The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?" "Yes." "Did you hit her with that golf club?" "Yes. Yes, I did," the man answers. He stifles a sob, drops the club and puts his hands on his head. "How many times did you hit her?" "I don't know. Five...six ...put me down for a five."
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has 38.91 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: cop, wife
One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE." It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him. When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, "I'm looking for LOVE." The policeman arrested her on the spot.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, cop, women
How many cop jokes are there? Just two, all the rest are true!
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: cop
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
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has 37.03 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop, phone
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop, phone
Microsoft Office doesn't correct Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris correct Microsoft Office.
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has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: computer, cop
What did the policeman say to his belly button? You're under a vest!
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: cop
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