The best cop jokes

A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
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has 36.86 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop, phone
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman… “Mr Cook?” “Yes,” I replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.” I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, dog
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, drunk
Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident? A: Some dick cut her off.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window... "Pull over!" "No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: cop
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULLOVER!" "NO," the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: cop
How many L.A. cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Six. One to do it and 5 to smash the old bulb to smithereens.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: cop
Why does a blonde have an IQ 1 point higher than a policehorse? So she won't shit on the street during a parade.
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop
Why was the picture sent to jail? It was framed.
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: cop
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