The best cop jokes

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife." said the man.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop
Aunt's Pay A young lady went to the dress shop where her aunt worked and picked up her aunt's pay. On the way home she was robbed, so she called the police and said, "I just lost my aunt's pay." The desk sargeant said , "Ouyay, Unnyfay!"
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop
According to the police, if you hold your purse by the strap and under your arm, nothing will ever happen to you.... Unless your name happens to be Bruce.
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop
10. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren. 9. He is starting to develop a crush on one of the transvestite hookers he arrested. 8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he'd look good in a collar. 7. He wants you to call him "Judge Dredd", and he insists that all suspects should be executed right there on the spot. 6. He talk to himself. Half of him is the "good cop", and the other half is the "bad cop". 5. He keeps asking you if his bullet proof vest makes him look fat. 4. He is exchanging donut recipes with complete strangers. 3. The perpetrators beg him to stop talking about his hemorrhoids. 2. He wants to hear less talk and more music on the police channel. 1. He keeps handcuffing himself by accident!!
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop
What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater? A plain clothes police dog!
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop
Q: What did the police do when 241 hares got loose? A: They combed the area!
Vote: has 27.24 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop
Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, driving, money, work
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, drunk
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!", the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
The Judge said to the defendant. "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again." "Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen."
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop