The best cop jokes

Johny was stopped by the policeman on the road, the policeman has looked over the whole car and has said to Johny: "Johny, if you´ll go somebody by your car, the human would probably survive the collision with your car also without your help, but the treatment with the content of your archaic first aid box will survive nobody, there´s no doubt. Did you buy it in the shop B.C.?"
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has 24.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, little Johnny, time
A frail little old lady walked up to a cop and said, "I was attacked! I was attacked!" The cop said, "When?" She said, "Twenty-three years ago." The cop said, "What are you telling me now for?" The little old lady said, "I just like to talk about it once in a while."
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: cop
A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this evening , in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it." "Oh yes dear, what happened?" "I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks." "Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks!! What did you do with them?" "Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off."
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has 24.11 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
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has 22.70 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
Two clones are on a roof. One clone pushes the other clone off. The next day the police arrest him for making an obscene clone fall.
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has 20.91 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cop
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop. They hide in potato sacks. The officer kicks each bag....when he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow....when he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff...when he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!
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has 20.88 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, cop, ginger
What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
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has 20.85 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: cop, prison
"But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!" the society matron protested. "Can't you find some way to cover up the shocking fact that she died in bed while being simultaneously serviced by two paid studs???" "You just leave it to me, Mrs. Van Horn," soothed the police officer. "I'll just put it in my report that she died at the stroke of two."
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has 20.57 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: cop
Q: Why do cops arrest black people? A: Because monkeys belong in cages.
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has 19.65 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, cop, prison
A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?" "Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat bird in my car?"
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has 19.47 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bird, cop, dirty, fat
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