What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
Brings little Johny a can to policeman and asks:
Can you please open the can? Policeman knocks at it:
Please open the door, police...
The cops must be after you, because it's illegal to look that good.
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”
A traffic cop on patrol one night, watching a 35mph zone on the edge of town, suddenly saw a car come blazing by his hideout.
Quickly grabbing at his radar gun, he clocked the fast moving vehicle at 87mph!
A police officer pulls over a speeding car.
The officer says, ' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, maybe your radar gun needs calibrating.'
Why did the policman cry? because he couldn"t take his Panda to bed!
I went to the store the other day.
I was only in there for about five minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.
So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?