The best cop jokes

A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?" "Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat bird in my car?"
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has 19.47 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bird, cop, dirty, fat
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.
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has 19.23 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: cop
Brings little Johny a can to policeman and asks: Can you please open the can? Policeman knocks at it: Please open the door, police...
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has 18.15 % from 414 votes. More jokes about: cop, little Johnny
A cop asks a nigger: Can you legitimate yourself? Is this because I’m black?
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has 17.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: cop
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
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has 17.63 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: cop, light bulb
The cops must be after you, because it's illegal to look that good.
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has 17.55 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: cop
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie’s house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park…and couldn’t find his way home. ” Oy Morris “, said grandma, ” You’ve been going to that park for over 30 years ! So how could you get lost ? ” Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn’t hear. Morris whispered, ” I wasn’t lost…..I was just too tired to walk home.”
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has 17.24 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, old people
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”
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has 16.16 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: cop
A traffic cop on patrol one night, watching a 35mph zone on the edge of town, suddenly saw a car come blazing by his hideout. Quickly grabbing at his radar gun, he clocked the fast moving vehicle at 87mph!
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has 13.41 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: cop
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, ' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.' The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, maybe your radar gun needs calibrating.'
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has 13.16 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
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