The best cop jokes

"But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!" the society matron protested. "Can't you find some way to cover up the shocking fact that she died in bed while being simultaneously serviced by two paid studs???" "You just leave it to me, Mrs. Van Horn," soothed the police officer. "I'll just put it in my report that she died at the stroke of two."
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has 20.57 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: cop
Johny was stopped by the policeman on the road, the policeman has looked over the whole car and has said to Johny: "Johny, if you´ll go somebody by your car, the human would probably survive the collision with your car also without your help, but the treatment with the content of your archaic first aid box will survive nobody, there´s no doubt. Did you buy it in the shop B.C.?"
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has 20.24 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, little Johnny, time
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop. They hide in potato sacks. The officer kicks each bag....when he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow....when he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff...when he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!
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has 19.95 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, cop, ginger
Two clones are on a roof. One clone pushes the other clone off. The next day the police arrest him for making an obscene clone fall.
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has 19.69 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cop
Brings little Johny a can to policeman and asks: Can you please open the can? Policeman knocks at it: Please open the door, police...
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has 18.42 % from 433 votes. More jokes about: cop, little Johnny
A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?" "Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat bird in my car?"
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has 18.37 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bird, cop, dirty, fat
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.
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has 18.30 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: cop
The cops must be after you, because it's illegal to look that good.
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has 17.55 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: cop
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie’s house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park…and couldn’t find his way home. ” Oy Morris “, said grandma, ” You’ve been going to that park for over 30 years ! So how could you get lost ? ” Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn’t hear. Morris whispered, ” I wasn’t lost…..I was just too tired to walk home.”
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has 17.24 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, old people
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”
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has 16.16 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: cop
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