The best dad jokes

"Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?" "Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!"
Vote: has 70.16 % from 251 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, school
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the people. The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense," So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
Vote: has 70.16 % from 240 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, family, kids, political
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ? The logician replies: "yes".
Vote: has 70.03 % from 79 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, dad, doctor, math, wife
Doctors son: "Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines of success." Doctor father: "Always, write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly."
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, doctor, kids
One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home. He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?" His father replied, "Figure it out." Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?" The teacher said: "Figure it out." Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, math, school, stupid
Husband: "Good night mother of my three sons." Wife: "Same to you father of none."
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, husband, kids, wife
Johny came crying. Dad: "What happened?" Johny: "Today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out." Dad: "That's bad, but why you are crying?" Johny: "I knew that's bad, so I pushed it back into her ass and she slapped me."
Vote: has 69.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, vulgar
The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
Vote: has 69.30 % from 77 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, dad, gay, sex
Johnny's father: "Let me see your report card." Johnny: "I don't have it." Johnny's father: "Why not?" Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
Vote: has 69.28 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, family, little Johnny, school
Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?" Chuck Norris is your daddy.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dad


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