The best dad jokes

One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived to his Sunday school class late. His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong. The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing, but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead. The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his father had explained to him why it was more important to go to church rather than to go fishing. To which the boy replied, "Yes, ma'am, he did. My dad said that he didn't have enough bait for both of us."
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: church, dad, fish, school, sport
Doctors son: "Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines of success." Doctor father: "Always, write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, doctor, kids
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it." A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but you didn't get hair cut!" The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair." His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!"
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, car, dad, driving, teen
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, fart, kids, weed
Why do mexicans walk around the school like they own the place? Cause there dad built it and there mom cleans it at night.
Vote: has 66.14 % from 103 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, mexican, racist, school
Little Johnny was in church, getting restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Not able to take it anymore, he leaned over to his father and whispered, "Hey, Dad, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
Vote: has 66.10 % from 126 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: church, dad, little Johnny, money, priest
*Girl is crying* Dad: Why you crying? Girl: My boyfriend dumped me! Dad: (Grabs shot gun) I'll be back.. A while later dad comes back Girl: What the hell! why did you go kill him! Dad: I didn't Girl: Where did you go? Dad: To get you icecream :D Girl: Why the hell did you bring the shot gun?! Dad: So I could get it for free!
Vote: has 65.94 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, food, women
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in most countries, son.
Vote: has 65.68 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, marriage
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dad
A father tells his son to stop jacking off. "You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says. The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, family, health, masturbation