The best dad jokes

Little Johnny: "Dad why your dick's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are are going to be white?" Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."
Vote: has 72.87 % from 126 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, sex
Son: "Dad, I'm cold..." Dad: "Stand in a corner, they're usually ninety degrees!"
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dad, kids, science
A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother.
Vote: has 72.55 % from 112 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, kids
Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!
Vote: has 72.45 % from 181 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, kids, school
Dad, would you like to save some money? I certainly would, son. Any suggestions? Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.
Vote: has 72.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, money
On a men's bathroom wall, someone had hastily scrawled, "I slept with your mother." Underneath it, another person had written, "Go home dad, you're drunk."
Vote: has 72.05 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, drunk, kids
Teacher: "Who can tell a story?" Little Johnny: "Our maid's ass." Teacher: "Why?" Little Johnny: "Last night daddy touched her ass and was whispering: 'A wonderful story.'"
Vote: has 71.80 % from 125 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, teacher, vulgar
My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, dog, kids, life
"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
Vote: has 71.00 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, husband, kids
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, food, kids, mean, money