The best dad jokes

Yo' daddy's so ugly, when he looked out the window he was arrested for mooning!
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, ugly, Yo mama
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
Vote: has 63.06 % from 537 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, marriage, money
Little Johnny: Dad, Is it true? I heard that in some countries where arranged marriage is a custom, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries! Father: Son, that happens everywhere, after marriage you find out everything!”
Vote: has 62.91 % from 162 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, marriage
While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family: "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!" "What is it?" her sisters asked eagerly. Proudly she replied: "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"
Vote: has 62.37 % from 80 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: computer, dad, family, IT
My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. So I put my hand around my kid and told him "Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."
Vote: has 61.99 % from 55 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, dad, dirty
Q: What does a baby computer call its dad? A: Data
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, computer, dad, IT
It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. "Let’s try to make this look natural" she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder." The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, graduation, kids
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
Vote: has 61.35 % from 57 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, black people, dad, racist, Santa
Two men are chatting; "My son asked me: 'Daddy, where do children come from?'" "It's not a big deal... Today kids are interested in that matter on the early years." "Yeah men, but the real issue here is that my son is... married... for five years!"
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, kids, marriage
After watching the grades of his child, the angry father said, "After seeing your grades, I feel like teaching a lesson or two and want to give a tight slap." The child excitedly says, "Yes dad, lets go, I know the addresses of all my teachers, we must teach them a lesson."
Vote: has 60.65 % from 47 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, kids


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