The best dad jokes

Little Johnny was in church, getting restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Not able to take it anymore, he leaned over to his father and whispered, "Hey, Dad, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
Vote: has 66.18 % from 146 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: church, dad, little Johnny, money, priest
Son: "What's love juice daddy?" Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?" Son: "Wimbledon."
Vote: has 66.10 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, love, sex, sport
A man and wife were making love. When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away. Mom said "You better fix this now." The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma. The dad screamed "What the fuck." The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
Vote: has 66.10 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, dirty, family, kids, sex
*Girl is crying* Dad: Why you crying? Girl: My boyfriend dumped me! Dad: (Grabs shot gun) I'll be back.. A while later dad comes back Girl: What the hell! why did you go kill him! Dad: I didn't Girl: Where did you go? Dad: To get you icecream :D Girl: Why the hell did you bring the shot gun?! Dad: So I could get it for free!
Vote: has 65.92 % from 89 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, food, women
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
Vote: has 65.67 % from 85 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, dirty
Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up. The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.” The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.” “That’s what my father says.”
Vote: has 65.67 % from 85 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, dad, dirty
A father, as he was going home, he saw his daughter on the porch, kissing a guy goodnight. Disturbed, he turned to the guy. "In our home, young man, we turn of the light at 11 o'clock, sharp!" "Oh, Thank you so much Sir! That's so convenient! Thanks!"
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, kids, time
Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, "Dad, tomorrow there's a special 'Adults' evening' at school. Daddy is surprised, "Really? Special?" "Yes," nods Johnny, "it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers."
Vote: has 64.71 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, dad, little Johnny, school
Martin ended a letter to his dad with this question, 'Is Washington's picture still on the dollar bill?' His Father wrote back, 'Of course it is. Why do you ask?' Martin answered, 'Because it's been so long since I've seen one!'
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, money
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
Vote: has 63.00 % from 536 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, marriage, money


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