The best dad jokes

While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family: "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!" "What is it?" her sisters asked eagerly. Proudly she replied: "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"
Vote: has 62.39 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, dad, family, IT
My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. So I put my hand around my kid and told him "Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."
Vote: has 62.19 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dad, dirty
Little Johnny: Dad, Is it true? I heard that in some countries where arranged marriage is a custom, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries! Father: Son, that happens everywhere, after marriage you find out everything!”
Vote: has 61.56 % from 156 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, marriage
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
Vote: has 60.85 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, terrorist
After watching the grades of his child, the angry father said, "After seeing your grades, I feel like teaching a lesson or two and want to give a tight slap." The child excitedly says, "Yes dad, lets go, I know the addresses of all my teachers, we must teach them a lesson."
Vote: has 59.89 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids
While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?" The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, "Yes my little princess." The girl then continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, family, kids
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Vote: has 59.17 % from 157 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dad
Q: What does a baby computer call its dad? A: Data
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, computer, dad, IT
A father went to take his daughter from school. While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!" "With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her. "Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids, school, work
My son asked me today, "Dad, what music did you like growing up?" "Led Zeppelin," I replied. "Who?" he said. "Yeah, I liked them too."
Vote: has 58.18 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, life