The best dad jokes

Two men are chatting; "My son asked me: 'Daddy, where do children come from?'" "It's not a big deal... Today kids are interested in that matter on the early years." "Yeah men, but the real issue here is that my son is... married... for five years!"
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids, marriage
Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up. The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.” The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.” “That’s what my father says.”
Vote: has 64.69 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, dad, dirty
One day this little girl’s dad came home and she runs up to him. “Daddy, the cat died today!” “Well, darling,” said the dad. “That’s just something that happens.” “But why are his arms and legs up in the air?” “Well, darling, that’s just something they do.” She takes the death fairly well and doesn’t mention it until a few days later. When the dad comes home, she runs up to him. “Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today!” “What are you talking about?” “I came downstairs and I heard her screaming ’Oh Jesus, take me, take me!’ And she had her arms and legs up in the air and if it hadn’t been for the mailman trying to revive her she would have died.”
Vote: has 64.23 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, dad, death, kids
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
Vote: has 64.17 % from 78 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, dirty
The father with his daughter are taking a walk to a public place of their town; "Ann! Why are you so nervously looking around?" observes the father. "How else can I find you a really good son in law, dad?"
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids, lawyer
Mary's father has 5 daughters, 1. Nana 2. Nono 3. Nini 4. Nene What is the fifth daughters name?
Vote: has 63.51 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids, life
A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning. After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him. He looked up at his dad and asked "How do fish breath under water?" His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I really don’t know, son." The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, "How does our boat float on the water?" Once again his dad replied, "Don’t know, son." Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks "Why is the sky blue?" Again, his dad replied. "Don’t know, son." The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time "Dad, do you mind that I’m asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not son." replied his dad, "How else are you ever going to learn anything?"
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, fish, kids
Martin ended a letter to his dad with this question, 'Is Washington's picture still on the dollar bill?' His Father wrote back, 'Of course it is. Why do you ask?' Martin answered, 'Because it's been so long since I've seen one!'
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, money
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
Vote: has 62.84 % from 528 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, marriage, money
Yo' daddy's so ugly, when he looked out the window he was arrested for mooning!
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, ugly, Yo mama