The best dad jokes

Two men are chatting; "My son asked me: 'Daddy, where do children come from?'" "It's not a big deal... Today kids are interested in that matter on the early years." "Yeah men, but the real issue here is that my son is... married... for five years!"
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids, marriage
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, fart, kids, weed
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in most countries, son.
Vote: has 64.81 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, marriage
Little Johnny was in church, getting restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Not able to take it anymore, he leaned over to his father and whispered, "Hey, Dad, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
Vote: has 64.78 % from 121 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: church, dad, little Johnny, money, priest
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dad
Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up. The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.” The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.” “That’s what my father says.”
Vote: has 64.26 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, dad, dirty
The father with his daughter are taking a walk to a public place of their town; "Ann! Why are you so nervously looking around?" observes the father. "How else can I find you a really good son in law, dad?"
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids, lawyer
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
Vote: has 63.74 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, dirty
While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family: "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!" "What is it?" her sisters asked eagerly. Proudly she replied: "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"
Vote: has 63.35 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, dad, family, IT
A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning. After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him. He looked up at his dad and asked "How do fish breath under water?" His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I really don’t know, son." The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, "How does our boat float on the water?" Once again his dad replied, "Don’t know, son." Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks "Why is the sky blue?" Again, his dad replied. "Don’t know, son." The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time "Dad, do you mind that I’m asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not son." replied his dad, "How else are you ever going to learn anything?"
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, fish, kids