The best dad jokes

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?" The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?" The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?" The boy replied, "Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but 'realistically', we’re living with two h***s and a future congressman."
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has 60.15 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dad, kids, money, school
Q: Wanna know the biggest lie my dad ever told me? A: I'll be back.
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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has 58.80 % from 166 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad
Yo' daddy's so ugly, when he looked out the window he was arrested for mooning!
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: dad, ugly, Yo mama
While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?" The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, "Yes my little princess." The girl then continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, kids
A kid asks his father: Kid: Daddy why do i have to go to bed? Dad: Because the bed wont come to you.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids
My son asked me today, "Dad, what music did you like growing up?" "Led Zeppelin," I replied. "Who?" he said. "Yeah, I liked them too."
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has 57.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dad, life
On Sunday little Johnny with his dad went for bathing. The ground was slippery. So poor boy for avoiding of knocking down grabbed his father's penis. His father smiled and told him: "Oh boy you are lucky. If you were with your mother you were concussion!"
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has 57.59 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, health, little Johnny, women
Mary's father has 5 daughters, 1. Nana 2. Nono 3. Nini 4. Nene What is the fifth daughters name?
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has 57.27 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, life
While my six-year-old daughter of the space age and I were reviewing some old photographs, we came across a picture of me when I was a captain in the Army Reserves. “Daddy, were you in a war?” “Yes,” I fibbed, just to see what her reaction would be. Wide-eyed, she gasped, “Against what planet?”
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has 55.88 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, military
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