A father went to take his daughter from school.
While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!"
"With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her.
"Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard?
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Vote:
You know when donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking?
That's what it's like having kids.
Dad: What is the opposite of ladyfingers?
The family: No idea
Dad: Mentos
My son asked me today, "Dad, what music did you like growing up?"
"Led Zeppelin," I replied.
"Who?" he said.
"Yeah, I liked them too."
Mary's father has 5 daughters,
1. Nana
2. Nono
3. Nini
4. Nene
What is the fifth daughters name?
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad.
Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull."
The driver gets annoyed as the kids continues to yammer on.
"If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick."
The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?"
The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."
On Sunday little Johnny with his dad went for bathing.
The ground was slippery.
So poor boy for avoiding of knocking down grabbed his father's penis.
His father smiled and told him: "Oh boy you are lucky. If you were with your mother you were concussion!"
Q: What does a baby computer call its dad?
A: Data