The best dad jokes

Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.
Vote: has 43.73 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, dad, geek, IT, technology
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when yo' daddy suggested doggie style, she laid down and licked her balls.
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, insulting, sex, Yo mama
A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's goy a car. When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'". Little white boy says, "shit, my daddys got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".
Vote: has 42.94 % from 102 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, car, dad, kids, racist
Q: What do you call a fight between you and your dad? A: Dady issues!
Vote: has 41.91 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dad
Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark? Father: I think so. What do you want me to write? Ramu: Your name on this report card.
Vote: has 41.83 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, school
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
Vote: has 41.22 % from 126 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dad, little Johnny
A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."
Vote: has 40.31 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, dad, driving, kids
Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name? A: Papa Boner
Vote: has 38.74 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, dirty
Why does the chicken is sad? Because his dad is a cock. Why does the chicken is even more sad? Because he faces the same future.
Vote: has 38.49 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dad
How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
Vote: has 37.92 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, disgusting, sex