The best dad jokes

My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
Vote: has 55.58 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, terrorist
My friend's dad went to Hungary. I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
Vote: has 55.11 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dad, food, geography, travel
A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
Vote: has 54.89 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, dirty, sex
A father went to take his daughter from school. While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!" "With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her. "Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
Vote: has 54.77 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, kids, school, work
4-year-old: Why are you my dad? Me: Because I made you. 4: How? Me: ... 4: O.o Me: ... 4: O.O Me: With Legos.
Vote: has 54.77 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, dad, kids
I like black people . . . . . I used to have some black friends 'till my dad sold them!
Vote: has 54.67 % from 195 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, dad, money
While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?" The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, "Yes my little princess." The girl then continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, family, kids
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, fart, kids, weed
Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father: No. Why do you ask that? Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
Vote: has 54.13 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, school, teacher
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Vote: has 53.18 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, black humor, dad, death, dog


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