The best dad jokes

4-year-old: Why are you my dad? Me: Because I made you. 4: How? Me: ... 4: O.o Me: ... 4: O.O Me: With Legos.
Vote: has 56.65 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, dad, kids
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
Vote: has 55.25 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, terrorist
My friend's dad went to Hungary. I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
Vote: has 55.11 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dad, food, geography, travel
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Colorado Avalanche fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Avalanche fans too. Not really knowing what an Avalanche fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is, however, one exception. A little girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not an Avalanche fan," she retorts. "Then," asks her teacher, "What are you?" "I'm a proud Detroit Red Wings Fan," boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the little girl why she is a Wings fan. "Well, my Dad and Mom are Wings fans, so I'm a Wings fan too," she responds. The teacher is now angry. "That’s no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron and your Dad was an idiot. What would you be then?" "Oh," says the little girl. "Well, then I'd be an Avalanche fan."
Vote: has 54.66 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, school, sport, stupid, teacher
While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?" The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, "Yes my little princess." The girl then continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, family, kids
A father tells his son to stop jacking off. "You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says. The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."
Vote: has 54.49 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, family, health, masturbation
I like black people . . . . . I used to have some black friends 'till my dad sold them!
Vote: has 54.22 % from 193 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, dad, money
A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink. "Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something." "Dad you don´t mea-" "Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son. "Dad I dont know what to say...I'm honored." "Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, dad, old people, time
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, fart, kids, weed
Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father: No. Why do you ask that? Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
Vote: has 54.13 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, school, teacher


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