The best dad jokes

One morning I called my girlfriend and his father picked "Hello who are you?" I heard that heavy voice and quickly replied a while "hey Eric where are you the choir is about to begin?" "What choir?" he asked. "Come on Eric stop kidding around and get your ass over here" the father then replied "Sorry am not Eric and I don't know what you are talking about I am dr Stephen" he said. I then said "oh sorry I must have misdialled" I then hang up and decided I am never gonna call that girl again...
Vote: has 36.23 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: church, communication, dad, phone, relationship
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Vote: has 36.10 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dad, sex
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dad, kids, lawyer
An internet maniac boy asks his father: Daddy, why do we have five fingers if the mouse has only two buttons?
Vote: has 34.72 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, dad, IT
A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad. "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble." "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake." "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: college, dad, money
Dad, would you like to save some money? I certainly would, son. Any suggestions? Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, money
Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers. When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing. "Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?" "I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"
Vote: has 26.76 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dad, kids
Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine? A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"
Vote: has 21.85 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, dad, geography, travel, wine
What did the dad say when his son said, "Dad I'm tired of walking in circles?" "Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."
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More jokes about: dad, disgusting
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
Vote: has 20.85 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, beer, dad, kids