The best dad jokes

Q: What do you call a fight between you and your dad? A: Dady issues!
Vote: has 41.91 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dad
Yo mama is so stupid, she did her dad last night.
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, insulting, sex, stupid, Yo mama
Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark? Father: I think so. What do you want me to write? Ramu: Your name on this report card.
Vote: has 41.83 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, school
Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name? A: Papa Boner
Vote: has 41.18 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, dirty
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
Vote: has 40.63 % from 130 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dad, little Johnny
A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."
Vote: has 40.31 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, dad, driving, kids
Why does the chicken is sad? Because his dad is a cock. Why does the chicken is even more sad? Because he faces the same future.
Vote: has 38.49 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dad
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Vote: has 36.10 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dad, sex
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dad, kids, lawyer
One morning I called my girlfriend and his father picked "Hello who are you?" I heard that heavy voice and quickly replied a while "hey Eric where are you the choir is about to begin?" "What choir?" he asked. "Come on Eric stop kidding around and get your ass over here" the father then replied "Sorry am not Eric and I don't know what you are talking about I am dr Stephen" he said. I then said "oh sorry I must have misdialled" I then hang up and decided I am never gonna call that girl again...
Vote: has 35.20 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: church, communication, dad, phone, relationship