The best dad jokes

A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
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has 52.05 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, sex
A man and his son went into a store. The kid picked a USA flag and told his dad: "Dad, I want this flag." The man tells him: "Nah, this looks too bright. Check if it's available in a different color."
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dad, ethnic, kids, stupid
The father with his daughter are taking a walk to a public place of their town; "Ann! Why are you so nervously looking around?" observes the father. "How else can I find you a really good son in law, dad?"
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, lawyer
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
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has 51.36 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, terrorist
A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink. "Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something." "Dad you don´t mea-" "Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son. "Dad I dont know what to say...I'm honored." "Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dad, old people, time
I like black people . . . . . I used to have some black friends 'till my dad sold them!
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has 50.69 % from 215 votes. More jokes about: black people, dad, money
Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: computer, dad, geek, IT, technology
A son and the dad are walking around on the streets. The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind." The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, kids, life, masturbation
A father tells his son to stop jacking off. "You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says. The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."
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has 47.76 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, health, masturbation
My friend's dad went to Hungary. I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, food, geography, travel
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