The best death jokes

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Vote: has 77.76 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, morbid, relationship, work
A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself. A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her hanging by her wrists. "What are you doing." they ask her. So she replies "Hanging myself." The men are confused and asked "If you are hanging youself, you put the rope around your neck." The blond says "Duh....I tried that, I couldn't breath."
Vote: has 77.67 % from 230 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, death, stupid
When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
Vote: has 77.56 % from 189 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Old librarians never die, they just lose their references.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, death, work
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 77.50 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death
Q: Where do suicide bombers go after they die? A: Everywhere!
Vote: has 77.48 % from 148 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, morbid, terrorist
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
Vote: has 77.32 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Two chemists go into a restaurant. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.
Vote: has 77.29 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, death, nerd
Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.
Vote: has 77.17 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left everything to his beloved widow? A: She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
Vote: has 77.17 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, death, redneck, wife