The best death jokes

Did you hear about the two females who were watching a blonde walk by? The first one said, "I wonder whether she's a natural blonde or a bleached blonde." Her friend said, "She's a suicide blonde." The other said, "Suicide blonde? What's that?" The friend said, "Dyed by her own hand!"
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, blonde, communication, death, women
My aunt died, God bless her, at a ripe old age of 104. We called her Aunt Tique.
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, black humor, communication, death, family
A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
Vote: has 76.05 % from 110 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, funeral
A man is out walking in New York when he sees a girl being savaged by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by beating about the head with a stick and saves the girl's life. The girl's mother rushes over to him: "Thank you, thank you, you are a hero, tomorrow all the newspapers will have headlines about Brave New Yorker Saves the Life of Young Girl" "But I'm not a New Yorker," the man says. "Oh, then it will say in all the newspapers Brave American Saves Life of Young Girl," says the mother. "But I'm not an American," the man says. "What are you then?" asks the mother. "I'm an Iranian," the man says. The next day he sees the newspaper headlines: Islamic Extr*mist kills American Dog.
Vote: has 75.96 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, death, dog, life
Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, time
One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly, the blonde's friend said, "Oh, look, a dead birdie!" The blonde looked up and said, "Where?"
Vote: has 75.77 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bird, blonde, death, stupid
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner: "Before you signed the death certificate, did you take the pulse, listen to the heart or check for breathing?" "No." "So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?" "Well, the man's brain was in a jar on my desk, but I suppose he could have still been practicing law for a living."
Vote: has 75.69 % from 89 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, lawyer
The results of in-depth studies have determined that the most often used sexual position for marriedcouples is the "doggie position". The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.
Vote: has 75.63 % from 108 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, husband, life, marriage, sex
Join the Army, meet some fascinating people, then kill them.
Vote: has 75.62 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, war
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
Vote: has 75.60 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, black humor, communication, death, old people


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