The best death jokes

When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.
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James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death
Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. After all, he did kill Hitler.
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More jokes about: death, Hitler
Old man: "Can you give me an erection?" Faith Healer: "I can make the blind see, make the lame walk and I can even cure cancer. But, I'm sorry I cannot raise the 'dead'."
Vote: has 75.96 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, black humor, death, old people
A white man walking down a beach kicks up a lamp, with hope he rubs the lamp. Sure enough a genie pops out, and says, "I will grant you 3 wishes but be warned every black person in the world will get double what you wish." After a thought he says he's got it. "My first wish is i want a million dollars." Genie "your wish has been granted and every black person now has 2 million dollars." Man "Ok my second wish i want 10 thousand acres Genie.." Granted but every black person in the world now has 20 thousand acres. "And now you have but one wish." "The man replies with my final wish... i wish you to beat me half to death."
Vote: has 75.77 % from 193 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, death, genie, money, racist
It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
Vote: has 75.43 % from 172 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, funeral, sport, wife
During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him. Teacher asks, "Johnny, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body." Little Johnny after thinking for a while says, "I saw a dead body cycling to school."
Vote: has 75.22 % from 282 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, little Johnny, school, teacher
If the Earth turned 30 times faster, we would get salary every day, but women would bleed to death...
Vote: has 75.19 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, time, women