The best death jokes

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Vote: has 77.13 % from 74 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, morbid, relationship, work
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
Vote: has 76.96 % from 52 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, black humor, communication, death, old people
Q: Famous last words of a bomb disposal expert? A: "Yes, the red wire."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, death, work
While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out. "Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."
Vote: has 76.80 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, black humor, customer service, death, work
Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family. "I just can't stand my mother-in-law," sighs one. "That's quite understandable," nods the other one, "why don't you just have the potatoes with the gravy?"
Vote: has 76.74 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, food, mother in law, Thanksgiving
Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
Vote: has 76.68 % from 128 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
Vote: has 76.66 % from 103 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, friendship
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
Vote: has 76.51 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, cop, death, phone
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
Vote: has 76.51 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
Q: How did the wanna-be-hipster die? A: Trying to cross the mainstream!
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, hipster


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