The best death jokes

Q: What's the difference between death and taxes? A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.
Vote: has 77.03 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, political, tax, time
When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
Vote: has 76.94 % from 208 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: Famous last words of a bomb disposal expert? A: "Yes, the red wire."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, death, work
Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.
Vote: has 76.68 % from 62 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
Vote: has 76.66 % from 103 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, friendship
A man is out walking in New York when he sees a girl being savaged by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by beating about the head with a stick and saves the girl's life. The girl's mother rushes over to him: "Thank you, thank you, you are a hero, tomorrow all the newspapers will have headlines about Brave New Yorker Saves the Life of Young Girl" "But I'm not a New Yorker," the man says. "Oh, then it will say in all the newspapers Brave American Saves Life of Young Girl," says the mother. "But I'm not an American," the man says. "What are you then?" asks the mother. "I'm an Iranian," the man says. The next day he sees the newspaper headlines: Islamic Extr*mist kills American Dog.
Vote: has 76.51 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, death, dog, life
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 76.51 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death
A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
Vote: has 76.26 % from 111 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, funeral
People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
Vote: has 76.26 % from 66 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
Vote: has 76.18 % from 130 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death


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