The best death jokes

The truth hurts dosen't it, Chuck Norris' truth kills.
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Rabbit: "Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?" Doctor: "Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."
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More jokes about: animal, death, doctor, food
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah - he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
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Q: How do you drown a hipster? A: In the mainstream.
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More jokes about: death, hipster, life
My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.
Vote: has 70.59 % from 108 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, death, ethnic
Little Mathieu was digging in his garden a hole. The next door neighbor saw him and asked; "Why are you digging the dirt Mathieu?" "My goldfish died, and I have to bury it." "Oh, I’m so sorry! But, isn’t that hole too big for a small goldfish?" "Indeed, it is! But my goldfish is inside your stupid cat!"
Vote: has 70.55 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, death, fish, kids, stupid
Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
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More jokes about: atheist, church, death
By tradition, fathers wear a red flower on Father's Day, if their father is alive and a white flower if he's dead. And if they have a nagging wife and a house full of screaming kids, they wear a pink flower - which means they are living but wish they were dead.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, death, Fathers day, life
A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road.  As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.  "I'll give you a lift." The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud." Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer." The priest replied, "That's OK, I got him with the door."
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, death, lawyer, priest
Chuck Norris never dies. And of course, he will also never fade away.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death