The best death jokes

Two Reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder: Firstly, the DNA all matches and secondly, there are no dental records.
Vote:
has 70.78 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: death, dentist, life, mean, redneck
Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
Vote:
has 70.74 % from 341 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, time
A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, "1 enemy ship on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die." So the watchman comes to him and asks, "Why did you want your red shirt?" The captain says, "Because if i get injured they won't see and keep on fighting." So the watchman comes to him again and says, "20 enemy ships on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."
Vote:
has 70.73 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: death, men, pirate, war
You are so old, if you to acted your age, you'd die.
Vote:
has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: age, death, insulting
If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
Vote:
has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, technology
Knock, knock Who's there? I'm Mr, Farter. Mr, Farter who? I've brought some insecticides to give to your mother in law!
Vote:
has 70.63 % from 325 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, knock-knock, mother in law
Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, are curious about the latest arrival in their building — a quiet, nice looking gentleman who keeps to himself. Shirley says, “Sophie, you know I’m shy. Why don’t you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him. He looks so lonely.” Sophie agrees, and later that day at the pool, she walks up to him and says, “Excuse me, mister. I hope I’m not prying, but my friend and I were wondering why you looked so lonely.” “Of course I’m lonely, he says, “I’ve spent the past 20 years in prison.” “You’re kidding! What for?” “For killing my third wife. I strangled her.” “What happened to your second wife?” “I shot her.” “And, if I may ask, your first wife?” “We had a fight and she fell off a building.” “Oh my,” says Sophie. Then turning to her friend on the other side of the pool, she yells, “Yoo hoo, Shirley. He’s single.”
Vote:
has 70.55 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: death, old people, prison, wife
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
Vote:
has 70.49 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, friendship
A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
Vote:
has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: age, death, dirty, geography, sex
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
Vote:
has 70.36 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, gay, sex, sport
<<<20212223
More jokes →
Page 20 of 60.