Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
Ghosts are created when Chuck Norris kills people to fast for the grim reaper to prosses.
Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris? The only good news is you know when you will die.
The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
Chuck Norris' yawn put people in comas.
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah - he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man. When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.