The best death jokes

When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
Vote: has 72.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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Death once took Chuck Norris. He regreted it.
Vote: has 72.24 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
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How do you kill 10,000 Mexicans? Throw a peso over a cliff. How do you kill 10,000 more? Tell them nobody got it.
Vote: has 72.16 % from 155 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, mexican, racist
A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said, "Your fly is undone." The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again, "Your pants have a slit back." The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand. "Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease. The man bent down to tie his shoelaces. "Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled. The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said, "Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, fart, parrot
A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, "1 enemy ship on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die." So the watchman comes to him and asks, "Why did you want your red shirt?" The captain says, "Because if i get injured they won't see and keep on fighting." So the watchman comes to him again and says, "20 enemy ships on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, men, pirate, war
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, husband, love, wife
Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch... Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
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Chuck Norris can kill you as many times as he wants to. He knows CPR.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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