The best death jokes

A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, food, time
Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man. When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
A man died and went to hell and was sitting on a stone looking very depressed. Another demon came up to him and asked: "Why the glum look, man?" The man replied: "Well I just died and now I'm in hell." But the demon just smiled and said: "Don't feel bad, it's not a bad thing at all. Do you like smoking?" the demon asked. The man's face lit up and he answered; "Yeah!" "Well on Mondays we all get together and smoke till we die. The best thing is, we're already dead!" the demon answered. "Alright!" creid the man. "Do you like drinking?" the demon asked. "Yeah!" The man answered. "Well on Wednesdays we all get together and drink till we die. The best thing is, we're already dead!" the demon answered. "Sweet!" cried the man. "Are you gay?" asked the demon. The man frowned and said: "No." The demon replied: "Oh, then you're gonna hate Saturdays..."
Vote: has 71.56 % from 210 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, death, sex
How do you kill 10,000 Mexicans? Throw a peso over a cliff. How do you kill 10,000 more? Tell them nobody got it.
Vote: has 71.53 % from 171 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, mexican, racist
Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

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James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death
If looks could kill they would be called Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch... Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death