The best death jokes

Yo Mama so fat when Flash tried to run around her he died before he got half way.
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has 71.00 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: death, fat, sport, Yo mama
Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch... Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Travel agency named „Bermuda triangle" – Let us meet on the other side.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: death, travel
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah - he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: bible, death, money
Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter. The day of delivery arrived. Both the lawyers were at the hospital pacing the floor in the waiting room. Finally one of them said, “I can’t take this, I’m going down to sit in my car and wait there. Please come down and tell me as soon as the child is born!” The partner agreed to do that. About an hour later the partner approached the car with a very grave look on his face. “What happened?” asked the waiting car occupant. The other partner announced, “They were twins and mine died!”
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: car, death, hospital, lawyer, life
Police are called to a home to fins man standing over the lifeless body of a woman with a five iron in his hand. The police ask, "is that your wife?" "Yes" says the man. "Did you kill her with that golf club?" "Yes" says the man sobbing and then dropping the club. "How many times did you hit her?" The man says, "five, six or seven times. But put me down for a five."
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: cop, death, wife
My dotor told me: "I've tow news for U; one good and the other one bad, which one do U prefer to hear first?" I replied I prefer the good one. Doctor: "U will die after next 24 hours!" I told: "Then what is the bad newsrnDoctor: "I forgot to tell U yesterday!"
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has 70.36 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, doctor, life, time
Three guys die and go to Hell. Satan asks the first guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" "He was a candle maker." So, Satan burns off the guy's d**k. Satan asks the second guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" "He was a rope maker." So, Satan rips off the guy's d**k with a rope. Satan asks the third guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" The guy smiles and says, "He made lollipops."
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has 70.33 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty
When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
What do you call a barn full of dead niggers? Out dated farm equipment.
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has 69.90 % from 165 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, racist
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