The best death jokes

Travel agency named „Bermuda triangle" – Let us meet on the other side.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: death, travel
If the Earth turned 30 times faster, we would get salary every day, but women would bleed to death...
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has 70.83 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: death, time, women
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
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has 70.72 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, democrat, funeral, money
Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Police are called to a home to fins man standing over the lifeless body of a woman with a five iron in his hand. The police ask, "is that your wife?" "Yes" says the man. "Did you kill her with that golf club?" "Yes" says the man sobbing and then dropping the club. "How many times did you hit her?" The man says, "five, six or seven times. But put me down for a five."
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: cop, death, wife
Q: What did Jesus tell the Mexicans just before he died? A: Act stupid until I get back.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: christian, death, mexican, racist, religious
Three men were caught for murder on same day. Very next day they were produced in the court. After hearing all the arguments the judge decided to declare the verdict after lunch. It happened to be his wife's birthday that day and he had promised to not give death penalty on her birthday to anyone. After lunch judge announced that all the three accused will receive 500 lashes. Since it's almost a death penalty all accused were asked for their last wish. First one thought as nothing can save him now, wishes for noth ing. He is lashed 500 times all over his body. He was bleeding all over gasping for final breath and conciousness. When second person was asked for his wish he thought for a moment and said, "I wish that 10 pillow is tied all over me." Well, 500 lashes was given but he laughed all over as pillow absorbed all the forces of lashes. Now, The third person was called and asked for his wish. He looked around. He saw first person facing his death and counting his last breath and second person laughing at first person calling him idiot. He took some time and with deep breath said,"Tie second person over me. "
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has 70.33 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, prison, time, wife
At the scene of a terrible road accident, a guy is laying sprawled out on the road, seemingly stone dead. The rescue workers are all around him, but can do nothing to resuscitate him. Suddenly, a young woman in a short miniskirt forces her way through the crowd. "Let me at him, I can help him," she says. "What can you do?" ask the rescue people. "We've tried everything to revive him, and it's too late." "I can," says the woman. "Stand back!" And she promptly takes off her panties, and crouches with her crotch over the man's face. Suddenly, the man coughs, splutters, and sits up. "What did you do?" ask the rescue people, amazed. The woman says, "Blood Transfusion."
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, women
My dotor told me: "I've tow news for U; one good and the other one bad, which one do U prefer to hear first?" I replied I prefer the good one. Doctor: "U will die after next 24 hours!" I told: "Then what is the bad newsrnDoctor: "I forgot to tell U yesterday!"
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has 69.99 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, doctor, life, time
Chuck Norris was a comedian, but everyone started to die of laughter.
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has 69.93 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
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