The best death jokes

Ghosts are created when Chuck Norris kills people to fast for the grim reaper to prosses.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Three men were caught for murder on same day. Very next day they were produced in the court. After hearing all the arguments the judge decided to declare the verdict after lunch. It happened to be his wife's birthday that day and he had promised to not give death penalty on her birthday to anyone. After lunch judge announced that all the three accused will receive 500 lashes. Since it's almost a death penalty all accused were asked for their last wish. First one thought as nothing can save him now, wishes for noth ing. He is lashed 500 times all over his body. He was bleeding all over gasping for final breath and conciousness. When second person was asked for his wish he thought for a moment and said, "I wish that 10 pillow is tied all over me." Well, 500 lashes was given but he laughed all over as pillow absorbed all the forces of lashes. Now, The third person was called and asked for his wish. He looked around. He saw first person facing his death and counting his last breath and second person laughing at first person calling him idiot. He took some time and with deep breath said,"Tie second person over me. "
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has 70.39 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, prison, time, wife
When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked: "What are you up to there, Nancy?" "My goldfish died", replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned: "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied: "That's because he's inside your fucking cat."
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has 70.02 % from 162 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, death, fish, little Johnny
A patient that was waiting for a heart transplant has the chance to choose tree alternatives: 1. One heart is from a young athlete that died from a car accident. 2. Second is the heart of a business man that never smoked or drunk that died from an airplane accident. 3. The last one is a lawyers heart that died after 30 years of experience. I'll take the lawyers heart. After the transplant, the doctor asks the patient: "Why did you choose the lawyers heart?" "Simple! I chose the heart that was less used..."
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: business, car, death, drunk, lawyer
The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man. When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Jesus won't come back again. Why? Because he know you will kill him and see if he will wake up again.
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: christian, death, easter
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