The best death jokes

After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?" After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor". The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair". Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news". The doctor replies, "He's dead".
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More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, ginger
"I want a divorce"! "But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part." "I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
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More jokes about: black humor, church, death, divorce, wedding
Yo mama is so stupid that when she got locked up in the supermarket she starved to death.
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More jokes about: death, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Chuck Norris gets younger by the kill.
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More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, death
Yo mama so ugly that she died of fright when she looked in the mirror.
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More jokes about: death, ugly, Yo mama
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
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More jokes about: black humor, death, morbid, relationship, work
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Facebook
There were these two bums and they were hungry when they came across road kill. The first bum went down to eat it when he looked up at his friend and said, "Oh I'm sorry, would you like some?" He replied, "No I think I'll wait." So they continue down the road and the first bum said, "Look - some more road kill, I'm still hungry. How about you?" His friend replied, "No, not yet, I think I'll wait." The first bum ate the road kill. Shortly after, his eyes rolled back and he puked the whole thing back up on the street. Seconds later, his friend dove in and ate every last slickery drop of the puke. The first bum said, "I thought you weren't hungry?" His friend replied, "I was always hungry, I just wanted a warm meal."
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More jokes about: death, disgusting, food
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death