The best death jokes

Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. After all, he did kill Hitler.
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A patient that was waiting for a heart transplant has the chance to choose tree alternatives: 1. One heart is from a young athlete that died from a car accident. 2. Second is the heart of a business man that never smoked or drunk that died from an airplane accident. 3. The last one is a lawyers heart that died after 30 years of experience. I'll take the lawyers heart. After the transplant, the doctor asks the patient: "Why did you choose the lawyers heart?" "Simple! I chose the heart that was less used..."
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More jokes about: business, car, death, drunk, lawyer
The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
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Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
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The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion. No episode aired, as no one survived.
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Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
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The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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Did you know the Dinosaurs crossed Chuck Norris? But only once.
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My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day, but he just kept whispering "Chun Yu Yan" over and over – and then died. I was very sad and googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
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More jokes about: asian, black humor, death, hospital


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