The best death jokes

Ghosts are created when Chuck Norris kills people to fast for the grim reaper to prosses.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
Vote: has 70.38 % from 80 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, relationship, terrorist
My dotor told me: "I've tow news for U; one good and the other one bad, which one do U prefer to hear first?" I replied I prefer the good one. Doctor: "U will die after next 24 hours!" I told: "Then what is the bad newsrnDoctor: "I forgot to tell U yesterday!"
Vote: has 70.34 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, death, doctor, life, time
Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. He died a year later.
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death
What do you call a barn full of dead niggers? Out dated farm equipment.
Vote: has 70.11 % from 87 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, death, racist
My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day, but he just kept whispering "Chun Yu Yan" over and over – and then died. I was very sad and googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
Vote: has 70.10 % from 203 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: asian, black humor, death, hospital
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield." The general said, "Drive on!" The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"
Vote: has 70.02 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, car, death, management, military
A patient that was waiting for a heart transplant has the chance to choose tree alternatives: 1. One heart is from a young athlete that died from a car accident. 2. Second is the heart of a business man that never smoked or drunk that died from an airplane accident. 3. The last one is a lawyers heart that died after 30 years of experience. I'll take the lawyers heart. After the transplant, the doctor asks the patient: "Why did you choose the lawyers heart?" "Simple! I chose the heart that was less used..."
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, car, death, drunk, lawyer
Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, death


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