The best death jokes

A white man walking down a beach kicks up a lamp, with hope he rubs the lamp. Sure enough a genie pops out, and says, "I will grant you 3 wishes but be warned every black person in the world will get double what you wish." After a thought he says he's got it. "My first wish is i want a million dollars." Genie "your wish has been granted and every black person now has 2 million dollars." Man "Ok my second wish i want 10 thousand acres Genie.." Granted but every black person in the world now has 20 thousand acres. "And now you have but one wish." "The man replies with my final wish... i wish you to beat me half to death."
Vote: has 70.57 % from 317 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, death, genie, money, racist
Little Mathieu was digging in his garden a hole. The next door neighbor saw him and asked; "Why are you digging the dirt Mathieu?" "My goldfish died, and I have to bury it." "Oh, I’m so sorry! But, isn’t that hole too big for a small goldfish?" "Indeed, it is! But my goldfish is inside your stupid cat!"
Vote: has 70.45 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, death, fish, kids, stupid
Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. After all, he did kill Hitler.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, Hitler
Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch... Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris never dies. And of course, he will also never fade away.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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Ghosts are created when Chuck Norris kills people to fast for the grim reaper to prosses.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
I love in horror movies how the person yells out "Hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "Yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, death, food
When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, death
Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. He died a year later.
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death