The best death jokes

Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
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"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
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Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
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The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
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Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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Q: Did you hear about the Hungarian who thought his wife was trying to kill him? A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Hungarian Remover".
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Someone call CSI. I just killed my workout.
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Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra? A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.
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