The best death jokes

Patient: "I am sorry to call you to my house so far away from your chamber at this time of night." Doctor: "Don’t worry. I have another patient near here. So I can Kill two birds with one stone."
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, life
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes? The police thought it was a cereal killer.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop, death, food, life
Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession? A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: death, hipster, work
Chuck Norris never dies. And of course, he will also never fade away.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Travel agency named „Bermuda triangle" – Let us meet on the other side.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: death, travel
Once a doctor dies. He was a heart specialist. At the funeral, his family members and friends make a special coffin on which there is a heart. A man laughs. Another man asks him why he laughed. He says, "I am a gyno I wonder what they will do on my funeral."
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has 64.46 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, doctor, family, funeral
Q: What was the one thing Hitler did well? A: Kill himself.
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has 64.37 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: death, Hitler, morbid
Yo mama so fat she was the meteor that killed the dinos.
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has 64.35 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: death, dinosaur, fat, science, Yo mama
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm? A: She burys it.
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, death, stupid
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that." Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him. The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: black humor, chemistry, death, wife
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