Patient: "I am sorry to call you to my house so far away from your chamber at this time of night."
Doctor: "Don’t worry. I have another patient near here. So I can Kill two birds with one stone."
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?
The police thought it was a cereal killer.
Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession?
A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
Chuck Norris never dies.
And of course, he will also never fade away.
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Travel agency named „Bermuda triangle" – Let us meet on the other side.
Once a doctor dies. He was a heart specialist.
At the funeral, his family members and friends make a special coffin on which there is a heart.
A man laughs.
Another man asks him why he laughed.
He says, "I am a gyno I wonder what they will do on my funeral."
Q: What was the one thing Hitler did well?
A: Kill himself.
Yo mama so fat she was the meteor that killed the dinos.
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm?
A: She burys it.
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide.
"I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that."
Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him.
The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
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