Chuck Norris will never die. The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm? A: She burys it.
There is nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
Patient: "I am sorry to call you to my house so far away from your chamber at this time of night." Doctor: "Don’t worry. I have another patient near here. So I can Kill two birds with one stone."
Once a doctor dies. He was a heart specialist. At the funeral, his family members and friends make a special coffin on which there is a heart. A man laughs. Another man asks him why he laughed. He says, "I am a gyno I wonder what they will do on my funeral."
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes? The police thought it was a cereal killer.
Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession? A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
Chuck Norris never dies. And of course, he will also never fade away.
Q: How do you kill an emo? A: You don't you let depression do the work.