The best death jokes

Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
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has 67.19 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, gay, sex, sport
Q: How come so black people died during the war? A: Because when the captain yelled "Get down" they all got up and danced.
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has 67.04 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, war
Once a doctor dies. He was a heart specialist. At the funeral, his family members and friends make a special coffin on which there is a heart. A man laughs. Another man asks him why he laughed. He says, "I am a gyno I wonder what they will do on my funeral."
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has 66.68 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, doctor, family, funeral
I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight. It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, Halloween, time
Police are called to a home to fins man standing over the lifeless body of a woman with a five iron in his hand. The police ask, "is that your wife?" "Yes" says the man. "Did you kill her with that golf club?" "Yes" says the man sobbing and then dropping the club. "How many times did you hit her?" The man says, "five, six or seven times. But put me down for a five."
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: cop, death, wife
How did Captain Hook die? He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
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has 66.17 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, pirate
"I want a divorce"! "But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part." "I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
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has 66.17 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: black humor, church, death, divorce, wedding
There is nothing fun about a funeral, but despite that, I had a good laugh at the following reaction by my two children. We, along with a bunch of other relatives, were following the hearse of my late great aunt. When my daughter, who always tends to focus on the morbid things in life raised the dreaded question, "Dad, what's going to happen to us when you die?" My son who was busy texting one of his friends at the time barely glanced up from his phone. "We'll go in the limousine dummy."
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has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: death, family, funeral, kids, phone
A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors. Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably... "My wife missed the bus"
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has 65.92 % from 1194 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, marriage, wife
A magician comes to a seniors' home for entertainment afternoon: "Aaaaand? Is everybody heeere?" Seniors, enthusiastically, "Yeaaaah!" Magician, winking, "But not for looooong...!"
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, old people, vulgar
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