Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink?
A: Concentrated jews.
Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra?
A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.
Knock, knock
Who's there?
I'm Mr, Farter.
Mr, Farter who?
I've brought some insecticides to give to your mother in law!
Vote:
In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine.
Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges.
As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
Popeye almost killed him!
Vote:
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Vote:
Why do women make better soldiers?
Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
A patient that was waiting for a heart transplant has the chance to choose tree alternatives:
1. One heart is from a young athlete that died from a car accident.
2. Second is the heart of a business man that never smoked or drunk that died from an airplane accident.
3. The last one is a lawyers heart that died after 30 years of experience.
I'll take the lawyers heart.
After the transplant, the doctor asks the patient:
"Why did you choose the lawyers heart?"
"Simple! I chose the heart that was less used..."
Rabbit: "Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?"
Doctor: "Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."
A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors.
Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks.
When asked he replied miserably...
"My wife missed the bus"