The best death jokes

A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Yo mama so old, I told her to act her own age and she died.
Vote: has 66.21 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, communication, death, old people, Yo mama
The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and make sure that's your pa in there."
Vote: has 66.16 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, death, fish, funeral, little Johnny
One day this little girl’s dad came home and she runs up to him. “Daddy, the cat died today!” “Well, darling,” said the dad. “That’s just something that happens.” “But why are his arms and legs up in the air?” “Well, darling, that’s just something they do.” She takes the death fairly well and doesn’t mention it until a few days later. When the dad comes home, she runs up to him. “Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today!” “What are you talking about?” “I came downstairs and I heard her screaming ’Oh Jesus, take me, take me!’ And she had her arms and legs up in the air and if it hadn’t been for the mailman trying to revive her she would have died.”
Vote: has 66.10 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, dad, death, kids
Q: What do you call a flying Jew? A: Ashes.
Vote: has 65.86 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, jewish
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors. Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably... "My wife missed the bus"
Vote: has 65.78 % from 1186 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, husband, marriage, wife
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
Vote: has 65.63 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, husband, old people
A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?" A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients." "And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching." "No, we came to make sure he was dead."
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, funeral, lawyer
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
Vote: has 65.56 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, relationship, terrorist