The best death jokes

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
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The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
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Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
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The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion. No episode aired, as no one survived.
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We only submit these facts so he doesn't kill us.
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Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
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Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
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The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
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Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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