A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors.
Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks.
When asked he replied miserably...
"My wife missed the bus"
Husband: "When I die, I'd like to die making love."
Wife: "At least we know it'll be quick!"
Why do women make better soldiers?
Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Travel agency named „Bermuda triangle" – Let us meet on the other side.
Q: How do you kill an emo?
A: You don't you let depression do the work.
Vote:
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Vote:
There is nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Vote:
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer.
Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
Vote:
There were two brothers.
One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful.
His brother, on the other hand, was bad and did all the things that men should not do and didn’t care who he hurt.
The bad brother died.
The good brother missed him despite his ways.
Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven.
Everything was beautiful and wonderful there and he was very happy.
One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn’t seen him there.
God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life and went to Hell instead.
The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother.
So God gave him the power of vision to see into Hell and there was his brother.
He was sitting on a bench with a keg of beer under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other.
Confused, the good brother said to God, "I am so happy that you let me into Heaven with You. It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don’t understand, if my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why does he have the keg of beer and a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment."
God said unto him, "Things are not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not."
Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink?
A: Concentrated jews.