The best death jokes

Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
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has 66.01 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: death, men, military, women
There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His brother, on the other hand, was bad and did all the things that men should not do and didn’t care who he hurt. The bad brother died. The good brother missed him despite his ways. Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven. Everything was beautiful and wonderful there and he was very happy. One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn’t seen him there. God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life and went to Hell instead. The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother. So God gave him the power of vision to see into Hell and there was his brother. He was sitting on a bench with a keg of beer under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other. Confused, the good brother said to God, "I am so happy that you let me into Heaven with You. It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don’t understand, if my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why does he have the keg of beer and a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment." God said unto him, "Things are not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not."
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has 66.01 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, god, heaven, life
A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors. Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably... "My wife missed the bus"
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has 65.95 % from 1195 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, marriage, wife
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
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has 65.94 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: death, sex, wife, women
Travel agency named „Bermuda triangle" – Let us meet on the other side.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: death, travel
Q: How do you kill an emo? A: You don't you let depression do the work.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, work
Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink? A: Concentrated jews.
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has 65.58 % from 372 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, Hitler, jewish, morbid
What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost killed him!
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep? A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
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has 65.56 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: death, democrat
When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.
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has 65.24 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
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