The best death jokes

Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
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has 65.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: death, men, military, women
Travel agency named „Bermuda triangle" – Let us meet on the other side.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: death, travel
Q: How do you kill an emo? A: You don't you let depression do the work.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, work
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
There is nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink? A: Concentrated jews.
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has 65.47 % from 429 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, Hitler, jewish, morbid
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
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has 65.42 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, friendship
There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His brother, on the other hand, was bad and did all the things that men should not do and didn’t care who he hurt. The bad brother died. The good brother missed him despite his ways. Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven. Everything was beautiful and wonderful there and he was very happy. One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn’t seen him there. God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life and went to Hell instead. The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother. So God gave him the power of vision to see into Hell and there was his brother. He was sitting on a bench with a keg of beer under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other. Confused, the good brother said to God, "I am so happy that you let me into Heaven with You. It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don’t understand, if my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why does he have the keg of beer and a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment." God said unto him, "Things are not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not."
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has 65.39 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, god, heaven, life
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
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has 65.24 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: death, sex, wife, women
Husband: "When I die, I'd like to die making love." Wife: "At least we know it'll be quick!"
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has 65.08 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, love, sex, wife
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