A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
Three guys die and go to Hell. Satan asks the first guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" "He was a candle maker." So, Satan burns off the guy's d**k. Satan asks the second guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" "He was a rope maker." So, Satan rips off the guy's d**k with a rope. Satan asks the third guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" The guy smiles and says, "He made lollipops."
Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
The last thing that you see before you die, is Chuck Norris.
What do you call a barn full of dead niggers? Out dated farm equipment.
I feel like every nature documentary is directed by a psychopath. "Here's the cutest baby animal ever." "Now let's watch something eat it."
Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
Chuck Norris can literally kill time.