The best death jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
Vote: has 69.44 % from 62 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, democrat, funeral, money
Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
Vote: has 69.39 % from 58 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, phone
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 69.34 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, men, women
Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
Vote: has 69.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and thundered "It is the sentence of this court that you be taken from here to a place of execution and there hanged by the neck until DEAD." The drunk promptly fainted. The court bailiff commenced to reviving the man, and looked up at the judge, at which time the judge shrugged and responded "I've always wanted to do that."
Vote: has 69.28 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, death, drunk
My dotor told me: "I've tow news for U; one good and the other one bad, which one do U prefer to hear first?" I replied I prefer the good one. Doctor: "U will die after next 24 hours!" I told: "Then what is the bad newsrnDoctor: "I forgot to tell U yesterday!"
Vote: has 69.22 % from 73 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, death, doctor, life, time
Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Rabbit: "Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?" Doctor: "Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, death, doctor, food


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