The best death jokes

Yo mama so fat she was the meteor that killed the dinos.
has 64.35 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: death, dinosaur, fat, science, Yo mama
Q: What was the one thing Hitler did well? A: Kill himself.
has 64.33 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: death, Hitler, morbid
Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.
has 64.18 % from 165 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, Hitler, work
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
has 64.09 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Little Mathieu was digging in his garden a hole. The next door neighbor saw him and asked; "Why are you digging the dirt Mathieu?" "My goldfish died, and I have to bury it." "Oh, I’m so sorry! But, isn’t that hole too big for a small goldfish?" "Indeed, it is! But my goldfish is inside your stupid cat!"
has 64.09 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: cat, death, fish, kids, stupid
When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
has 64.09 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
I feel like every nature documentary is directed by a psychopath. "Here's the cutest baby animal ever." "Now let's watch something eat it."
has 63.85 % from 274 votes. More jokes about: animal, dead baby, death
Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: death, men, wife, women
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I BET you $50 the man is going to jump.” The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50. The brunette says, “I can’t accept this MONEY. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.” “No, you have to take it,” says the blonde. “I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, money
There were these two bums and they were hungry when they came across road kill. The first bum went down to eat it when he looked up at his friend and said, "Oh I'm sorry, would you like some?" He replied, "No I think I'll wait." So they continue down the road and the first bum said, "Look - some more road kill, I'm still hungry. How about you?" His friend replied, "No, not yet, I think I'll wait." The first bum ate the road kill. Shortly after, his eyes rolled back and he puked the whole thing back up on the street. Seconds later, his friend dove in and ate every last slickery drop of the puke. The first bum said, "I thought you weren't hungry?" His friend replied, "I was always hungry, I just wanted a warm meal."
has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, food
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