Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris? The only good news is you know when you will die.
There is a way to kill Chuck Norris, it is... Sorry, the person typing this just had his head bashed in by a roundhouse kick.
Travel agency named „Bermuda triangle" – Let us meet on the other side.
There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His brother, on the other hand, was bad and did all the things that men should not do and didn’t care who he hurt. The bad brother died. The good brother missed him despite his ways. Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven. Everything was beautiful and wonderful there and he was very happy. One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn’t seen him there. God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life and went to Hell instead. The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother. So God gave him the power of vision to see into Hell and there was his brother. He was sitting on a bench with a keg of beer under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other. Confused, the good brother said to God, "I am so happy that you let me into Heaven with You. It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don’t understand, if my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why does he have the keg of beer and a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment." God said unto him, "Things are not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not."
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
What do you call a barn full of dead niggers? Out dated farm equipment.
Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common? A: Both their moms are going to kill them!
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep? A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm? A: She burys it.