The best death jokes

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
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has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: death, men, wife, women
Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep? A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
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has 64.28 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: death, democrat
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: car, death, lawyer, men
Little Mathieu was digging in his garden a hole. The next door neighbor saw him and asked; "Why are you digging the dirt Mathieu?" "My goldfish died, and I have to bury it." "Oh, I’m so sorry! But, isn’t that hole too big for a small goldfish?" "Indeed, it is! But my goldfish is inside your stupid cat!"
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has 64.09 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: cat, death, fish, kids, stupid
When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
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has 64.09 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup." Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, food
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
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has 63.79 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: death, sex, wife, women
What do you call a barn full of dead niggers? Out dated farm equipment.
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has 63.77 % from 217 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, racist
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I BET you $50 the man is going to jump.” The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50. The brunette says, “I can’t accept this MONEY. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.” “No, you have to take it,” says the blonde. “I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, money
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