The best death jokes

When Light wrote Chuck Norris' name in the Death Note, the book died.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
A very rich lawyer is approached by the United Way. The man from the United Way is concerned that the lawyer made over $1,000,000.00 last year but didn't donate even a cent to a charity. "First of all", says the lawyer, "my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and it's not covered by healthcare. Second, I had five kids through three divorced marriages. Third, my sister's husband suddenly died and she has no one to support her four children..." "I'm terribly sorry", says the United Way man, "I feel bad about asking for money." The Lawyer funny responds, "Yeah, well if I'm not giving them any money, why should I give you any?"
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, hospital, lawyer, money
How did Captain Hook die? He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, disgusting, pirate
Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. He died a year later.
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death
A presser in a tailor shop arrived one morning wearing a good sized diamond ring. One of the tailors noticed the sparkler and asked about it. "My mother-in-law gave me a thousand dollars before she passed away. She said that when she dies, I should buy a beautiful stone. So I did!
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, death, funeral, money, mother in law
Most leading hand sanitizers say that they can kil 99.99% of all germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of WHATEVER HE WANTS.
Vote: has 67.69 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
Vote: has 67.69 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, dirty, gay, sex, sport
There were these two bums and they were hungry when they came across road kill. The first bum went down to eat it when he looked up at his friend and said, "Oh I'm sorry, would you like some?" He replied, "No I think I'll wait." So they continue down the road and the first bum said, "Look - some more road kill, I'm still hungry. How about you?" His friend replied, "No, not yet, I think I'll wait." The first bum ate the road kill. Shortly after, his eyes rolled back and he puked the whole thing back up on the street. Seconds later, his friend dove in and ate every last slickery drop of the puke. The first bum said, "I thought you weren't hungry?" His friend replied, "I was always hungry, I just wanted a warm meal."
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, disgusting, food
Chuck Norris' yawn put people in comas.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death


<<<28293031
More jokes →
Page 28 of 58.