The best death jokes

What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost killed him!
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
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has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: death, men, wife, women
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I BET you $50 the man is going to jump.” The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50. The brunette says, “I can’t accept this MONEY. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.” “No, you have to take it,” says the blonde. “I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, money
Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Someone call CSI. I just killed my workout.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: cop, death, fitness
There were these two bums and they were hungry when they came across road kill. The first bum went down to eat it when he looked up at his friend and said, "Oh I'm sorry, would you like some?" He replied, "No I think I'll wait." So they continue down the road and the first bum said, "Look - some more road kill, I'm still hungry. How about you?" His friend replied, "No, not yet, I think I'll wait." The first bum ate the road kill. Shortly after, his eyes rolled back and he puked the whole thing back up on the street. Seconds later, his friend dove in and ate every last slickery drop of the puke. The first bum said, "I thought you weren't hungry?" His friend replied, "I was always hungry, I just wanted a warm meal."
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, food
Q: How do you kill an emo? A: You don't you let depression do the work.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, work
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
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has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies? A: Kill BILL 1 and 2.
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, marriage, political, sex
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