The best death jokes

The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: christian, death, jewish, mean
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, democrat, funeral, money
Q: What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A: A tea party.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, money, political
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it. "Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, blonde, death, health, hospital
What do you call a barn full of dead niggers? Out dated farm equipment.
Vote: has 63.07 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, death, racist
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, cowboy, death
A sailor and a priest were playing golf. The sailor took his first shot missed and said, "F**k, I missed." Surprised, the priest replied, "Don’t use that kind of language or god will punish you." The sailor took aim and hit his shot second shot. Again he missed and under his breath the said, "I f**k’n missed again." The priest overheard and replied, "My son, please don’t use that language or god will punish you." The sailor took his third shot and once again he couldn’t help mutter, "Oh f**k" The priest said, "That’s it god will certainly punish you." Suddenly a bolt of lightning came down and killed the priest. In the distance a deep voice said, "F**K, I Missed."
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, god, golf, priest, sport
What happens to black people after they die? Nigger Mortis.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, death, racist
A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, death, dirty, geography, sex
Q: What do you call an African-American whose spouse just died? A: A black widow.
Vote: has 62.88 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, death, ethnic, racist