The best death jokes

Yo mamma so stupid she locked herself in safeway and starved to death.
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: death, food, stupid, Yo mama
What do you call a barn full of dead niggers? Out dated farm equipment.
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has 63.06 % from 198 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, racist
Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep? A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
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has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: death, democrat
Patient: "Doctor, I want to thank you for your great medicine." The doctor was very much pleased. He asked: "Did it really help you?" Patient: "It helped me wonderfully." Doctor: "How many bottled did you find it necessary to take?" Patient: "I did not take any of it. My uncle took one bottle and I am his sole heir."
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, money
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup." Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, food
An alcoholic, a smoker and a gay went to a doctor. The doctor told them that if they do again what they think are addicted to, they will die. As soon as the alcoholic went out of the hospital, he saw a bar. He thought for a while and said to himself, "If I drink one, I will die, if I don’t drink, I will die, too. So it’s better to get drunk." And he entered the bar, drank and died. At that time, the smoker saw one cigarette-end on the street. The gay walking behind him started crying, "Don’t! Don’t do it!" "Why? I want to smoke so much." "If you bend... we both are dead!"
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has 62.85 % from 318 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, death, doctor, gay
Do you remember how everyone was trying to kill Osama Bin Laden? Well, since all of our presidents seem to get shot, why we just didn't make Bin Laden president.
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has 62.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, political
Rabbit: "Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?" Doctor: "Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, doctor, food
Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common? A: Both their moms are going to kill them!
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has 62.40 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, death, morbid, teen
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