The best death jokes

George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer. The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped. George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.” He opened the door and saw the bird alive! The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again. George said, “Why the change?” The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
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No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
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Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can kill a man in 52 different ways using only a ballpoint pen.
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In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
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Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
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When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
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In the game "Clue", the murder is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.
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The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
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Somebody said that Chuck sucks, since then their severed head with many foot marks have been found...
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