The best death jokes

About 4,000 years ago: God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!" Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: death, god, life, money, time
Jenna, Jessica and ariana die. They all go to heaven and GOD says, "You can do whatever you want, just don't step on a pink cloud". The first day, Jenna goes out and comes back with a ugly guy. Jessica and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jenna says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The next day, Jessica goes out, she comes back with a ugly guy. Jenna and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jessica says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The following day Araina goes out and comes back with a HOTT guy, blue eyes, thin and tall. Jenna and jessica ask, "What happen?" The guy says, "I stepped on a pink cloud".
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: death, god, heaven, life, ugly
Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
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has 61.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Once a doctor dies. He was a heart specialist. At the funeral, his family members and friends make a special coffin on which there is a heart. A man laughs. Another man asks him why he laughed. He says, "I am a gyno I wonder what they will do on my funeral."
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has 61.48 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, doctor, family, funeral
Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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has 61.36 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death
A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
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has 61.35 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: age, death, dirty, geography, sex
Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out. Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences. Then hang up.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, health, phone
Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew.
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
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