A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said,
"Your fly is undone."
The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again,
"Your pants have a slit back."
The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand.
"Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease.
The man bent down to tie his shoelaces.
"Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled.
The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said,
"Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....
After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra
Eventually died
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James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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Once a doctor dies. He was a heart specialist.
At the funeral, his family members and friends make a special coffin on which there is a heart.
A man laughs.
Another man asks him why he laughed.
He says, "I am a gyno I wonder what they will do on my funeral."
The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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1 woman and 9 men shipwreck on a deserted island.
After one week, the woman, disgusted by the things she was doing, kills herself.
After another week, the men, disgusted by the things they were doing, buried her.
After another week, the men, more disgusted by the things they were doing, dug her up.
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Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
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Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here!
Cop: Okay, calm down.
Where are you?
Blonde: The cemetery!
Cop: *facepalm*
When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
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