The best death jokes

Yo mama so ugly that she died of fright when she looked in the mirror.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: death, ugly, Yo mama
A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said, "Your fly is undone." The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again, "Your pants have a slit back." The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand. "Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease. The man bent down to tie his shoelaces. "Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled. The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said, "Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
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has 60.84 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, fart, parrot
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
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has 60.80 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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has 60.80 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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has 60.78 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, game, life
Once a doctor dies. He was a heart specialist. At the funeral, his family members and friends make a special coffin on which there is a heart. A man laughs. Another man asks him why he laughed. He says, "I am a gyno I wonder what they will do on my funeral."
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has 60.67 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, doctor, family, funeral
The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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has 60.65 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
1 woman and 9 men shipwreck on a deserted island. After one week, the woman, disgusted by the things she was doing, kills herself. After another week, the men, disgusted by the things they were doing, buried her. After another week, the men, more disgusted by the things they were doing, dug her up.
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has 60.65 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, women
Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
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has 60.20 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here! Cop: Okay, calm down. Where are you? Blonde: The cemetery! Cop: *facepalm*
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has 60.08 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, death
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