About 4,000 years ago: God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!" Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
Q: What was the one thing Hitler did well? A: Kill himself.
Jenna, Jessica and ariana die. They all go to heaven and GOD says, "You can do whatever you want, just don't step on a pink cloud". The first day, Jenna goes out and comes back with a ugly guy. Jessica and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jenna says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The next day, Jessica goes out, she comes back with a ugly guy. Jenna and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jessica says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The following day Araina goes out and comes back with a HOTT guy, blue eyes, thin and tall. Jenna and jessica ask, "What happen?" The guy says, "I stepped on a pink cloud".
Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
Someone call CSI. I just killed my workout.
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common? A: Both their moms are going to kill them!
Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies? A: Kill BILL 1 and 2.