The best death jokes

The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion. No episode aired, as no one survived.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
We only submit these facts so he doesn't kill us.
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Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
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Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, life
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
An alcoholic, a smoker and a gay went to a doctor. The doctor told them that if they do again what they think are addicted to, they will die. As soon as the alcoholic went out of the hospital, he saw a bar. He thought for a while and said to himself, "If I drink one, I will die, if I don’t drink, I will die, too. So it’s better to get drunk." And he entered the bar, drank and died. At that time, the smoker saw one cigarette-end on the street. The gay walking behind him started crying, "Don’t! Don’t do it!" "Why? I want to smoke so much." "If you bend... we both are dead!"
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More jokes about: alcohol, bar, death, doctor, gay
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, food, life
The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and make sure that's your pa in there."
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More jokes about: cat, death, fish, funeral, little Johnny