The best death jokes

Just found out that my Asian friend died last week... So Yung.
Vote:
has 61.05 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: asian, death
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 60.76 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
Vote:
has 60.76 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: What was the one thing Hitler did well? A: Kill himself.
Vote:
has 60.73 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: death, Hitler, morbid
Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here! Cop: Okay, calm down. Where are you? Blonde: The cemetery! Cop: *facepalm*
Vote:
has 60.70 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, death
Yo mama is so stupid that when she got locked up in the supermarket she starved to death.
Vote:
has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: death, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Chuck Norris was a comedian, but everyone started to die of laughter.
Vote:
has 60.67 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the kitchen, there was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table. He finally made it to the table and he reached a shaking hand towards the cookies. Suddenly, his wife slapped his hand sharply and yelled, "DON’T TOUCH THOSE - they’re for the funeral!"
Vote:
has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: death, food, funeral, old people, wife
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
Vote:
has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, fish
At the scene of a terrible road accident, a guy is laying sprawled out on the road, seemingly stone dead. The rescue workers are all around him, but can do nothing to resuscitate him. Suddenly, a young woman in a short miniskirt forces her way through the crowd. "Let me at him, I can help him," she says. "What can you do?" ask the rescue people. "We've tried everything to revive him, and it's too late." "I can," says the woman. "Stand back!" And she promptly takes off her panties, and crouches with her crotch over the man's face. Suddenly, the man coughs, splutters, and sits up. "What did you do?" ask the rescue people, amazed. The woman says, "Blood Transfusion."
Vote:
has 60.65 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, women
<<<31323334
More jokes →
Page 31 of 60.