When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens.
And dies.
Vote: Joke has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, death
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, death
Chuck Noris once got his blood tested.
His blood type was AK-47.
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news.
The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge.
The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I BET you $50 the man is going to jump.”
The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50.
The brunette says, “I can’t accept this MONEY. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.”
“No, you have to take it,” says the blonde.
“I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”
If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
Q: How do you drown a hipster?
A: In the mainstream.
Old librarians never die, they just lose their references.
The old man had died.
A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was.
Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and make sure that's your pa in there."
Little Mathieu was digging in his garden a hole.
The next door neighbor saw him and asked;
"Why are you digging the dirt Mathieu?"
"My goldfish died, and I have to bury it."
"Oh, I’m so sorry! But, isn’t that hole too big for a small goldfish?"
"Indeed, it is! But my goldfish is inside your stupid cat!"