Q: What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A: A tea party.
A mother and son were walking through a cemetery, and passed by a headstone inscribed ‘Here lies a good lawyer and an honest man.' The little boy read the headstone, looked up at his mother, and asked "Mommy, why did they bury two men there?"
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
If you write the Death Note on Chuck Norris, the Death Note dies.
Finally, they discovered real cause of Bruce Lee's death – extreme exhaustion from fight with Chuck Norris.
Did you hear about that music composer who commited suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke. The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.
The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'