When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
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Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here!
Cop: Okay, calm down.
Where are you?
Blonde: The cemetery!
Cop: *facepalm*
Did you hear about that music composer who commited suicide?
He didn't even leave a note.
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm?
A: She burys it.
A preacher goes into a bar and says "Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up."
Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner.
The preacher says "My son, don't you want to go to heaven when you die?"
The drunk says "When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking a load up now."
Chuck Norris went an hour without killing... just to kill some time.
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Just found out that my Asian friend died last week...
So Yung.
Finally, they discovered real cause of Bruce Lee's death – extreme exhaustion from fight with Chuck Norris.
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One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don’t speak the same language.
For example, if you told Navy personnel to “secure a building,” they would turn off the lights and lock the doors.
Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter.
Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat.
The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
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