The best death jokes

When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
has 59.97 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Did you hear about that music composer who commited suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: death, life, music
Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm? A: She burys it.
has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, death, stupid
Just found out that my Asian friend died last week... So Yung.
has 59.79 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: asian, death
A preacher goes into a bar and says "Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up." Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner. The preacher says "My son, don't you want to go to heaven when you die?" The drunk says "When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking a load up now."
has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, death, heaven
One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don’t speak the same language. For example, if you told Navy personnel to “secure a building,” they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
has 59.06 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: air force, death, military, money, navy
Chuck Norris went an hour without killing... just to kill some time.
has 58.94 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, death, kids, Thanksgiving
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, we have to be sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"
has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: death, hunting, phone
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