The best death jokes

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, work
Roses are red tulips are black. You'd look great with a knife in your back.
Vote: has 65.39 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, morbid, poems
Q: What do you call an African-American whose spouse just died? A: A black widow.
Vote: has 65.20 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, death, ethnic, racist
A very rich lawyer is approached by the United Way. The man from the United Way is concerned that the lawyer made over $1,000,000.00 last year but didn't donate even a cent to a charity. "First of all", says the lawyer, "my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and it's not covered by healthcare. Second, I had five kids through three divorced marriages. Third, my sister's husband suddenly died and she has no one to support her four children..." "I'm terribly sorry", says the United Way man, "I feel bad about asking for money." The Lawyer funny responds, "Yeah, well if I'm not giving them any money, why should I give you any?"
Vote: has 65.19 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, hospital, lawyer, money
After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?" After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor". The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair". Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news". The doctor replies, "He's dead".
Vote: has 65.19 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, ginger
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
Vote: has 64.93 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, democrat, funeral, money
If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, light bulb
The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death
Someone call CSI. I just killed my workout.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, death, fitness