Chuck Norris' yawn put people in comas.
Chuck Noris once got his blood tested. His blood type was AK-47.
It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris gets younger by the kill.
I feel like every nature documentary is directed by a psychopath. "Here's the cutest baby animal ever." "Now let's watch something eat it."
Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
Two friends were walking through the woods when they thought they heard something. They turned around and saw a big black bear coming towards them. Both men started to run when one of them stopped to change into tennis shoes. The second man said "You don't have time to change shoes. You can't outrun that bear!" The first man said, "I know I can't outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you"!
Someone call CSI. I just killed my workout.
Q: What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A: A tea party.