The best death jokes

Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, music
Somebody said that Chuck sucks, since then their severed head with many foot marks have been found...
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Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
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Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, music
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
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More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
Vote: has 64.35 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, husband, old people
There is a way to kill Chuck Norris, it is... Sorry, the person typing this just had his head bashed in by a roundhouse kick.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, are curious about the latest arrival in their building — a quiet, nice looking gentleman who keeps to himself. Shirley says, “Sophie, you know I’m shy. Why don’t you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him. He looks so lonely.” Sophie agrees, and later that day at the pool, she walks up to him and says, “Excuse me, mister. I hope I’m not prying, but my friend and I were wondering why you looked so lonely.” “Of course I’m lonely, he says, “I’ve spent the past 20 years in prison.” “You’re kidding! What for?” “For killing my third wife. I strangled her.” “What happened to your second wife?” “I shot her.” “And, if I may ask, your first wife?” “We had a fight and she fell off a building.” “Oh my,” says Sophie. Then turning to her friend on the other side of the pool, she yells, “Yoo hoo, Shirley. He’s single.”
Vote: has 64.23 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, old people, prison, wife