Finally, they discovered real cause of Bruce Lee's death – extreme exhaustion from fight with Chuck Norris.
Did you hear about that music composer who commited suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke. The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.
The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'
Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Babe when I die I want you to cremate me, pour my ashes into a bowl of chili, and eat me just so I can tear that ass up one more time!
Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? A. They both live off dead Beatles.
Little Johnny was a chemist. Little Johnny is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.