The best death jokes

Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, men, military, women
A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, life, math
Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? A. They both live off dead Beatles.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, music
Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep? A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
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More jokes about: death, democrat
Q: What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A: A tea party.
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More jokes about: death, money, political
Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out. Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences. Then hang up.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, doctor, health, phone
Did you hear about that music composer who commited suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, life, music
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, death, lawyer, men
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
Vote: has 59.79 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, sex, wife, women
Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
Vote: has 59.75 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, men, wife, women