The best death jokes

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
Vote:
has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep? A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
Vote:
has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: death, democrat
About 4,000 years ago: God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!" Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
Vote:
has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: death, god, life, money, time
Yo mamma so stupid she locked herself in safeway and starved to death.
Vote:
has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: death, food, stupid, Yo mama
A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion. The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head. "There" says the vet," Your hamster is dead". Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion. The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat. The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head. "It's definitely dead sir", says the vet. Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes. "That will be L1000, please". "A L1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man. "Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".
Vote:
has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, doctor
Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra? A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.
Vote:
has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: death, medical, viagra
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
Vote:
has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
Ghosts are created when Chuck Norris kills people to fast for the grim reaper to prosses.
Vote:
has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Yo mama so ugly that she died of fright when she looked in the mirror.
Vote:
has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: death, ugly, Yo mama
Did you know the Dinosaurs crossed Chuck Norris? But only once.
Vote:
has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, dinosaur
<<<33343536
More jokes →
Page 33 of 59.