The best death jokes

When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
Where does the devil go when he dies? He goes to Chuck Norris for an eternity of roundhouse kicks.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, love
Did you know the Dinosaurs crossed Chuck Norris? But only once.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, dinosaur
Chuck Norris did the blue whale challenge. By the 50th day, his instructor had jumped off the building.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight. It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, Halloween, time
Yo mamma so stupid she locked herself in safeway and starved to death.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: death, food, stupid, Yo mama
There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His brother, on the other hand, was bad and did all the things that men should not do and didn’t care who he hurt. The bad brother died. The good brother missed him despite his ways. Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven. Everything was beautiful and wonderful there and he was very happy. One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn’t seen him there. God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life and went to Hell instead. The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother. So God gave him the power of vision to see into Hell and there was his brother. He was sitting on a bench with a keg of beer under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other. Confused, the good brother said to God, "I am so happy that you let me into Heaven with You. It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don’t understand, if my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why does he have the keg of beer and a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment." God said unto him, "Things are not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not."
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has 64.51 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, god, heaven, life
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
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has 64.35 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, old people
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