The best death jokes

What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost killed him!
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Vote: has 56.92 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Hitler, jewish
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I BET you $50 the man is going to jump.” The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50. The brunette says, “I can’t accept this MONEY. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.” “No, you have to take it,” says the blonde. “I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, death, money
Yo mama is so black, she died on the sun.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, death, insulting, Yo mama
Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, religious
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that." Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him. The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, chemistry, death, wife
It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, funeral, hospital
Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew.
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More jokes about: black humor, death
About 4,000 years ago: God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!" Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, god, life, money, time
Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death