What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost killed him!
Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew.
I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers
About 4,000 years ago: God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!" Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
Yo mama so stupid... she died of starvation in a grocery store.