The best death jokes

I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight. It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, Halloween, time
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
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has 62.10 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: death, sex, wife, women
Q: What was the one thing Hitler did well? A: Kill himself.
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has 61.94 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: death, Hitler, morbid
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that." Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him. The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: black humor, chemistry, death, wife
Do you remember how everyone was trying to kill Osama Bin Laden? Well, since all of our presidents seem to get shot, why we just didn't make Bin Laden president.
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, political
In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine. Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges. As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, ethnic, military, war
In the game "Clue", the murder is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, game
Somebody said that Chuck sucks, since then their severed head with many foot marks have been found...
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
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