The best death jokes

Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don’t speak the same language. For example, if you told Navy personnel to “secure a building,” they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
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has 58.53 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: air force, death, military, money, navy
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, death, kids, Thanksgiving
When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, death
It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: death, life, math
Did you hear about that music composer who commited suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: death, life, music
The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. He died a year later.
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has 58.09 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death
Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: Three in the back, two in the front and the rest in the ashtray.
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has 57.86 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, death, jewish, morbid
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