The best death jokes

Q: What is the difference between Harry Potter and a jew? A: Harry Potter escaped the chamber.
Vote: has 59.95 % from 133 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, death, jewish, morbid
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
Vote: has 59.83 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, sex, wife, women
One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don’t speak the same language. For example, if you told Navy personnel to “secure a building,” they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
Vote: has 59.83 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: air force, death, military, money, navy
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
Vote: has 59.75 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, death
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
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More jokes about: animal, death, fish
What happens to black people after they die? Nigger Mortis.
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More jokes about: black people, death, racist
Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.
Vote: has 59.23 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, math
Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
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More jokes about: animal, death
In the game "Clue", the murder is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, game