Q: What is the difference between Harry Potter and a jew? A: Harry Potter escaped the chamber.
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don’t speak the same language. For example, if you told Navy personnel to “secure a building,” they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
What happens to black people after they die? Nigger Mortis.
Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.
Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
In the game "Clue", the murder is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.