The best death jokes

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, food, life
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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has 61.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: death, sex, wife, women
In the game "Clue", the murder is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, game
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, life
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
A preacher goes into a bar and says "Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up." Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner. The preacher says "My son, don't you want to go to heaven when you die?" The drunk says "When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking a load up now."
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, death, heaven
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: car, death, lawyer, men
Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
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