The best death jokes

Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan? He got cut off without a scent.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death
Q: Where did OP go in the explosion? A: Everywhere.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, terrorist
An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the kitchen, there was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table. He finally made it to the table and he reached a shaking hand towards the cookies. Suddenly, his wife slapped his hand sharply and yelled, "DON’T TOUCH THOSE - they’re for the funeral!"
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, food, funeral, old people, wife
English man Irish man Scotch man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, I will give you one thing before you die. The Englishman man say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish man says a car door. The Germans say, why do you want a car door. The Irish man says, because when it gets hot, it can wind down the window.
Vote: has 48.79 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, death, military
The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Vote: has 48.41 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, family, school, sex, teacher
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? A: Because his wife died.
Vote: has 48.37 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, wife
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
The Boyfriend says to his blonde girlfriend, "Look! A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up in the sky and says "Where?"
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, blonde, death
This executive was interviewing a nervous young blonde women for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?” The blonde quickly responded, “The living one.”
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, death, work
A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said: "Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.
Vote: has 46.90 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, music