A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.
We only submit these facts so he doesn't kill us.
Jake was watching vigilantly at his dying wife's side. "Sleep now, it's all right," he told her. But she kept trying to sit up and said, "Honey, I really need to tell you something." Finally Jake let her get it off her chest. "Jake, honey, I need to tell you something before I die. During the last two months, I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father." "Don't worry about it," Jake said, "I already know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
Q: Did you hear that the travel agency NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN offers the flights over the Bermuda Triangle? A: Mostly is the trip successful for the first time, max. for the second time. Very popular is also the camping in tents near the shore of the river Nile.
Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan? A: One dead person in ten trashcans!