The best death jokes

You mamas so small she fell of her chair and committed suicide.
has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: death, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mama so ugly that she died of fright when she looked in the mirror.
has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: death, ugly, Yo mama
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone. Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death, travel, winter
A single car crash kills a Mexican family. 15 people died.
has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, mexican
An Atheist dies in a car crash and wakes up in a big dark room with a sign above a single door: "Welcome to Hell!" "Shit! So the Shavelings were right after all!" the Atheist thinks, opens the door – and is stunned by the view! A marvelous beach! Crystal blue water, white sand, palm trees, the sun is shining and all around there are people laughing, having fun and listening to happy music or enjoying excellent food and drinks.rnLucifer, dressed in a Hawaiian Shirt, greets the Atheist, hands him a fantastic- looking cocktail and says cheerfully: "Hey! Welcome to Hell. Have a drink, have a snack. Take a look around and enjoy yourself! See you later!" Totally speechless at first, the Atheist finally starts to take a look around, is greeted everywhere, listens to people´s stories about their mortal lives and takes a stroll down the beach. After a few minutes into the walk, he starts hearing cries of pain, wailing, shouts, and screams and decides to follow that noises. Finally, the Atheist arrives at the rim of a big, black hole, takes a look down and is scared to the bone! Down there, the place is all fire, sulfur, brimstone! Rivers of lava, gnarled trees, and among it all the lost souls, being tormented forever by demons and devils. "Whoa! Take it easy!" Lucifer jumps right in to prevent the Atheist from falling into that pit and he stumbles backward, drops into the sand and stammers: "Wha... what the HELL is that place?" Lucifer looks down, shrugs and says: "Oh, that´s the Catholic´s department. They want it that way."
has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: atheist, car, catholic, death, mean
Yo mama is so stupid that when she got locked up in the supermarket she starved to death.
has 62.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: death, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out. Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences. Then hang up.
has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, health, phone
An alcoholic, a smoker and a gay went to a doctor. The doctor told them that if they do again what they think are addicted to, they will die. As soon as the alcoholic went out of the hospital, he saw a bar. He thought for a while and said to himself, "If I drink one, I will die, if I don’t drink, I will die, too. So it’s better to get drunk." And he entered the bar, drank and died. At that time, the smoker saw one cigarette-end on the street. The gay walking behind him started crying, "Don’t! Don’t do it!" "Why? I want to smoke so much." "If you bend... we both are dead!"
has 62.59 % from 310 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, death, doctor, gay
Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: death, men, wife, women
Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: Shoot the lawyer twice.
has 62.41 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: death, desert island, Hitler, lawyer
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