The best death jokes

A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: death, life, math
Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.
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has 55.68 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: death, math
We only submit these facts so he doesn't kill us.
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has 55.57 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Jake was watching vigilantly at his dying wife's side. "Sleep now, it's all right," he told her. But she kept trying to sit up and said, "Honey, I really need to tell you something." Finally Jake let her get it off her chest. "Jake, honey, I need to tell you something before I die. During the last two months, I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father." "Don't worry about it," Jake said, "I already know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: death, life, wife
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
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has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, death
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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has 55.13 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, cop, death, phone
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
Q: Did you hear that the travel agency NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN offers the flights over the Bermuda Triangle? A: Mostly is the trip successful for the first time, max. for the second time. Very popular is also the camping in tents near the shore of the river Nile.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: business, death, time, travel
Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
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has 54.80 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: atheist, church, death
Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan? A: One dead person in ten trashcans!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting
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