The best death jokes

Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
Vote:
has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris did the blue whale challenge. By the 50th day, his instructor had jumped off the building.
Vote:
has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
Q: What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A: A tea party.
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: death, money, political
Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Vote:
has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, death, kids, Thanksgiving
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Vote:
has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A preacher goes into a bar and says "Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up." Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner. The preacher says "My son, don't you want to go to heaven when you die?" The drunk says "When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking a load up now."
Vote:
has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, death, heaven
An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the kitchen, there was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table. He finally made it to the table and he reached a shaking hand towards the cookies. Suddenly, his wife slapped his hand sharply and yelled, "DON’T TOUCH THOSE - they’re for the funeral!"
Vote:
has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: death, food, funeral, old people, wife
1 woman and 9 men shipwreck on a deserted island. After one week, the woman, disgusted by the things she was doing, kills herself. After another week, the men, disgusted by the things they were doing, buried her. After another week, the men, more disgusted by the things they were doing, dug her up.
Vote:
has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, women
Jenna, Jessica and ariana die. They all go to heaven and GOD says, "You can do whatever you want, just don't step on a pink cloud". The first day, Jenna goes out and comes back with a ugly guy. Jessica and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jenna says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The next day, Jessica goes out, she comes back with a ugly guy. Jenna and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jessica says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The following day Araina goes out and comes back with a HOTT guy, blue eyes, thin and tall. Jenna and jessica ask, "What happen?" The guy says, "I stepped on a pink cloud".
Vote:
has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: death, god, heaven, life, ugly
<<<36373839
More jokes →
Page 36 of 59.