We only submit these facts so he doesn't kill us.
Jake was watching vigilantly at his dying wife's side. "Sleep now, it's all right," he told her. But she kept trying to sit up and said, "Honey, I really need to tell you something." Finally Jake let her get it off her chest. "Jake, honey, I need to tell you something before I die. During the last two months, I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father." "Don't worry about it," Jake said, "I already know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"
Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
Q: Did you hear that the travel agency NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN offers the flights over the Bermuda Triangle? A: Mostly is the trip successful for the first time, max. for the second time. Very popular is also the camping in tents near the shore of the river Nile.
What happens to black people after they die? Nigger Mortis.
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? A: Because his wife died.
Q: What is the difference between Harry Potter and a jew? A: Harry Potter escaped the chamber.