The best death jokes

Where does the devil go when he dies? He goes to Chuck Norris for an eternity of roundhouse kicks.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris did the blue whale challenge. By the 50th day, his instructor had jumped off the building.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack." "Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." "I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death." "Well, then, we need a urine sample." "I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar." "All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line." "I can't do that, officer." "Why not?" "Because I'm drunk."
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, cop, death, drunk
No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, death
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, life
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? A: Because his wife died.
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has 56.70 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, wife
Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
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has 56.30 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: atheist, church, death
First man: "I follow the medical profession." Second man: "Are you a doctor?" First man: "No, I'm an undertaker."
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has 56.20 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, medical, work
A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
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has 56.06 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, funeral, music
Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died? A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
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has 56.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: death, sex, wife
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