The best death jokes

If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, heaven
The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death
Two friends were walking through the woods when they thought they heard something. They turned around and saw a big black bear coming towards them. Both men started to run when one of them stopped to change into tennis shoes. The second man said "You don't have time to change shoes. You can't outrun that bear!" The first man said, "I know I can't outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you"!
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, friendship
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, work
Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, math
Q: What do you call an African-American whose spouse just died? A: A black widow.
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has 61.99 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, ethnic, racist
Q: What do you call a flying Jew? A: Ashes.
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has 61.81 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, jewish
A cowboy and a retard are sitting at home bored. The cowboy says," let's go down to the bowling alley and beat up niggers." The retard says ," OK ". When they arrive , the cowboy sees five black dudes bowling. He goes over and starts beating their asses. He stops and looks to see the retard smashing bowling balls with a sledgehammer. He goes over and says, " hey... I thought we was gonna beat up niggers?" The retard responds, " yeah...you get the live ones, I'll kill the eggs ."
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has 61.74 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: black people, cowboy, death, health, racist
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, food, life
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
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