The best death jokes

What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
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has 57.45 % from 216 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, death
Q: What's the best way to talk to a velociraptor? A: Long distance!
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has 57.40 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, dinosaur
Death once took Chuck Norris. He regreted it.
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?" After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor". The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair". Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news". The doctor replies, "He's dead".
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has 57.17 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, ginger
Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died? A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
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has 57.04 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: death, sex, wife
A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: death, life, math
Roses are red tulips are black. You'd look great with a knife in your back.
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has 56.93 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: death, morbid, poems
Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.
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has 56.89 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: death, math
If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
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