The best death jokes

What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost killed him!
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?" After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor". The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair". Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news". The doctor replies, "He's dead".
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, ginger
Sherlock Holmes dies and goes to Heaven. There is a brouhaha. Sherlock Holmes asks St. Peter what seems to be the problem. Apparently, Adam has gone 'walkabout' among all the souls. It will take ages to find him. Holmes tracks down Adam, very quickly. The Lord asks Holmes how he recognized Adam among the millions of souls, without ever having met him. "Elementary, my dear God, he has no navel."
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: death, god, heaven, life
Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, religious
Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: death, life, math
Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew.
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
Jenna, Jessica and ariana die. They all go to heaven and GOD says, "You can do whatever you want, just don't step on a pink cloud". The first day, Jenna goes out and comes back with a ugly guy. Jessica and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jenna says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The next day, Jessica goes out, she comes back with a ugly guy. Jenna and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jessica says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The following day Araina goes out and comes back with a HOTT guy, blue eyes, thin and tall. Jenna and jessica ask, "What happen?" The guy says, "I stepped on a pink cloud".
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: death, god, heaven, life, ugly
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that." Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him. The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: black humor, chemistry, death, wife
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