After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?" After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor". The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair". Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news". The doctor replies, "He's dead".
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
This executive was interviewing a nervous young blonde women for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?” The blonde quickly responded, “The living one.”
The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
Q: What is the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? A: One says "See you later" and the other says "In a while".
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
Most leading hand sanitizers say that they can kil 99.99% of all germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of WHATEVER HE WANTS.
There is a way to kill Chuck Norris, it is... Sorry, the person typing this just had his head bashed in by a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.