Death once took Chuck Norris. He regreted it.
What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q: What's the best way to talk to a velociraptor? A: Long distance!
When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: Three in the back, two in the front and the rest in the ashtray.
Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died? A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
Finally, they discovered real cause of Bruce Lee's death – extreme exhaustion from fight with Chuck Norris.