If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
Q: What is the difference between Harry Potter and a jew? A: Harry Potter escaped the chamber.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
About 4,000 years ago: God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!" Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here! Cop: Okay, calm down. Where are you? Blonde: The cemetery! Cop: *facepalm*
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
Roses are red tulips are black. You'd look great with a knife in your back.
Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.
No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.