The best death jokes

Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
Vote: has 60.69 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, men, wife, women
Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here! Cop: Okay, calm down. Where are you? Blonde: The cemetery! Cop: *facepalm*
Vote: has 60.65 % from 47 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, cop, death
Q: What is the difference between Harry Potter and a jew? A: Harry Potter escaped the chamber.
Vote: has 60.65 % from 166 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, death, jewish, morbid
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
Vote: has 60.65 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, sex, wife, women
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, heaven
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, life, math
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
Vote: has 59.75 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, death, fish
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Vote: has 59.37 % from 131 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Hitler, jewish
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, sport


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