What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q: What's the best way to talk to a velociraptor? A: Long distance!
Death once took Chuck Norris. He regreted it.
After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?" After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor". The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair". Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news". The doctor replies, "He's dead".
Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died? A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
Roses are red tulips are black. You'd look great with a knife in your back.
Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.
If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.