The best death jokes

After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?" After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor". The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair". Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news". The doctor replies, "He's dead".
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has 52.77 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, ginger
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
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has 52.64 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
This executive was interviewing a nervous young blonde women for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?” The blonde quickly responded, “The living one.”
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, work
The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: What is the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? A: One says "See you later" and the other says "In a while".
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, time
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
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has 52.19 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, terrorist
Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Most leading hand sanitizers say that they can kil 99.99% of all germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of WHATEVER HE WANTS.
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has 52.05 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
There is a way to kill Chuck Norris, it is... Sorry, the person typing this just had his head bashed in by a roundhouse kick.
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
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