The best death jokes

Chuck Noris once got his blood tested. His blood type was AK-47.
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has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, health
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
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has 52.80 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, terrorist
Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
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has 52.77 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?" After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor". The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair". Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news". The doctor replies, "He's dead".
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has 52.77 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, ginger
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
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has 52.64 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
Roses are blue My thumb's got a sliver I drank far too much and I'm killing my liver.
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has 52.50 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, death, drunk, poems
Q: What is the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? A: One says "See you later" and the other says "In a while".
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, time
Did you hear about the black guy that died on the highway? He stuck his head out the window and his lips beat him to death.
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has 52.26 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, death
A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.  Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, "Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news".  "Well," says the bloke, "I guess I'd better have the bad news first." The Sarge says, "I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead."  The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is. The Sarge says, "Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crayfish and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share."  He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.  "Geez, thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... so what's the other possible good news?" "Well", the Sarge says, "if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!"
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has 52.23 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, marriage, travel, wife
Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
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