The best death jokes

Death once got sentenced to Chuck Norris.
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has 55.00 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: Did you hear that the travel agency NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN offers the flights over the Bermuda Triangle? A: Mostly is the trip successful for the first time, max. for the second time. Very popular is also the camping in tents near the shore of the river Nile.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: business, death, time, travel
What happens to black people after they die? Nigger Mortis.
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has 54.83 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, racist
Roses are red tulips are black. You'd look great with a knife in your back.
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has 54.70 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: death, morbid, poems
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?" "11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and tomorrow." He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?" So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, cop, death, work
Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan? A: One dead person in ten trashcans!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
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has 54.51 % from 199 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Hitler, jewish
Old Farmer Peter was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Peter: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Peter: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
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has 54.49 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: death, horse, marriage, wife
A man returns home and find his wife with his best friend. He takes out the gun and shoots his friend to death. His wife: "Listen, if you stay in such character, you will lose all your friends."
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has 54.49 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: death, friendship, marriage, wife
Walking down the street, a man hears a voice: "Stop! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down and kill you." The man stopped; a big brick fell in front of him. The astonished man continued walking to the cross walk. The voice shouted, "Stop! If you take one more step, a car will run over you and you will die." The man stood still; a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked. "Where the hell were you when I got married last week?"
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has 54.38 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: car, death, marriage
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