The best death jokes

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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has 53.62 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.
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has 53.62 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
The truth hurts dosen't it, Chuck Norris' truth kills.
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: What is the difference between Harry Potter and a jew? A: Harry Potter escaped the chamber.
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has 53.60 % from 243 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, jewish, morbid
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
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has 53.22 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dad, death, dog
Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
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has 53.22 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, phone
On a long walk in the woods, Johhny found himself out late and decided to look for a place to rest the night. He finally found a hut in the middle of the woods and knocked on the door. An old man answered, and he agreed to give Johhny a bed for the night on one condition: the man's teenaged daughter would be in the other bed, and Johnny was not to touch her or disturb her sleep in any way. Johnny agreed, but changed his mind when he saw how beautiful the sleeping girl was and, while she didn't respond to his caresses, she didn't push him away either. The next morning, Johnny awoke alone, but he figured the girl had gone to do her chores and he eagerly awaited her return. Instead the old man walked in, wiping the tears from his eyes. "What's wrong?" asked Johnny. "Oh, I've just come back from the cemetery we had my little girl's funeral this morning. But thank you so much for sitting up with her body last night."
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has 53.20 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, little Johnny
Chuck Noris once got his blood tested. His blood type was AK-47.
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has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, health
After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?" After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor". The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair". Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news". The doctor replies, "He's dead".
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has 52.77 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, ginger
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