The best death jokes

Most leading hand sanitizers say that they can kil 99.99% of all germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of WHATEVER HE WANTS.
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has 52.05 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
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has 51.87 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, hunting
There is a way to kill Chuck Norris, it is... Sorry, the person typing this just had his head bashed in by a roundhouse kick.
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: What do you call an African-American whose spouse just died? A: A black widow.
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has 51.54 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, ethnic, racist
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
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has 51.50 % from 221 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Hitler, jewish
Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
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has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault. The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, money
Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, light bulb
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