The best death jokes

Chuck Norris can kill you as many times as he wants to. He knows CPR.
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has 49.41 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Did you know the Dinosaurs crossed Chuck Norris? But only once.
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, dinosaur
Yo mama's so overweight she kills thousands just by sitting down.
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: death, fat, Yo mama
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible! Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" She says, "That he did, Father..." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?" She says, "He said, "Please, Mary, put down that damn gun..."
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: church, death, husband, marriage
Q: Why is Al Qaeda more compassionate than pro-lifers? A: The 9/11 hijackers got to die instantly.
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, life, terrorist
Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
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has 49.12 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, fish
If you write the Death Note on Chuck Norris, the Death Note dies.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
The more self-killers, the fewer self-killers.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: death, life
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, couple, death, winter
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
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has 48.59 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, geography, health
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