Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
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A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital.
After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead.
The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it.
"Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.
Yo mama's so overweight she kills thousands just by sitting down.
Yo mama so stupid... she died of starvation in a grocery store.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
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Guns can kill, Chuck Norris does!
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A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.