The best death jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, hunting
When Light wrote Chuck Norris' name in the Death Note, the book died.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Walking down the street, a man hears a voice: "Stop! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down and kill you." The man stopped; a big brick fell in front of him. The astonished man continued walking to the cross walk. The voice shouted, "Stop! If you take one more step, a car will run over you and you will die." The man stood still; a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked. "Where the hell were you when I got married last week?"
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has 54.15 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: car, death, marriage
A man returns home and find his wife with his best friend. He takes out the gun and shoots his friend to death. His wife: "Listen, if you stay in such character, you will lose all your friends."
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has 54.14 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: death, friendship, marriage, wife
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, death
Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke. The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.
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has 54.06 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, knock-knock
On a long walk in the woods, Johhny found himself out late and decided to look for a place to rest the night. He finally found a hut in the middle of the woods and knocked on the door. An old man answered, and he agreed to give Johhny a bed for the night on one condition: the man's teenaged daughter would be in the other bed, and Johnny was not to touch her or disturb her sleep in any way. Johnny agreed, but changed his mind when he saw how beautiful the sleeping girl was and, while she didn't respond to his caresses, she didn't push him away either. The next morning, Johnny awoke alone, but he figured the girl had gone to do her chores and he eagerly awaited her return. Instead the old man walked in, wiping the tears from his eyes. "What's wrong?" asked Johnny. "Oh, I've just come back from the cemetery we had my little girl's funeral this morning. But thank you so much for sitting up with her body last night."
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has 53.72 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, little Johnny
Q: What do you call a flying Jew? A: Ashes.
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has 53.70 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, jewish
Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, math
Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
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