The best death jokes

A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
If looks could kill they would be called Chuck Norris.
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has 50.35 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep when they die instead of the normal six feet? Because deep down they are really good people.
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: death, lawyer
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: age, death, life, time
Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, soccer
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it. "Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, blonde, death, health, hospital
Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
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has 49.86 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible! Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" She says, "That he did, Father..." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?" She says, "He said, "Please, Mary, put down that damn gun..."
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has 49.86 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: church, death, husband, marriage
Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
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has 49.86 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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has 49.86 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, death, life, technology
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