The best death jokes

A Gujarati Funeral… A family in Gujarat got simply puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Puj. Ba) arrived from the US. It was sent by one of the Daughters. The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid; they found a letter on top addressed to all her brothers and sisters: Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben & Varsha, I am sending Puj. Ba’s dead body to you, since it was her last wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in Kadhywad, GUJARAT, India. Sorry, I could not come, all of my paid leaves got consumed. You will find inside the coffin, under Ba’s body, 5 cans of cheese, 10 packets of Tobler chocolates, 8 packets of Badam and few items for Kids. Please divide these among all of you. Near Ba’s feet, you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha’s and Lakshmi’s sons. Hope the sizes are correct! Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan and rest you can decide. The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba’s left wrist. Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take it. The few pairs of white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among all the Nephews. Please distribute all these above items fairly & equally. Yours loving sister, Anubhavi P.S.: If anything more needed, let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well now a days…
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has 49.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: death, food, funeral, life
Q: Why is Al Qaeda more compassionate than pro-lifers? A: The 9/11 hijackers got to die instantly.
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has 49.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, life, terrorist
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
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has 48.80 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, terrorist
Yo mama so stupid... she died of starvation in a grocery store.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: death, stupid, Yo mama
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, work
Guns can kill, Chuck Norris does!
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
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has 48.35 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: death, women
Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion. No episode aired, as no one survived.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
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