The best death jokes

Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died? A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
Vote:
has 57.04 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: death, sex, wife
A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
Vote:
has 57.00 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, funeral, music
Yo mama so stupid... she died of starvation in a grocery store.
Vote:
has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: death, stupid, Yo mama
If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Finally, they discovered real cause of Bruce Lee's death – extreme exhaustion from fight with Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction. He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
Vote:
has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death, health, life
A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack." "Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." "I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death." "Well, then, we need a urine sample." "I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar." "All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line." "I can't do that, officer." "Why not?" "Because I'm drunk."
Vote:
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, cop, death, drunk
Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
Vote:
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
<<<43444546
More jokes →
Page 43 of 58.