Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
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No chicken dies a virgin.
They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
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Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
Betty and Tim die in a car accident on the eve of their wedding.
In Heaven, they ask St.
Peter if they can still be married.
"Well, let me find out if this is possible. Stay here and I will be right back."
Six months pass and Peter returns.
"Yes, we can do this for you."
The couple asks, "Well, as we have spent so much time together waiting for your answer, we need to know that if things don't work out, is there a possibility that we can be divorced?"
To which St. Peter answers, "It took me six months to find a priest up here how long do you think it will take me to find a lawyer?"
Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies?
A: Kill BILL 1 and 2.
Granny congratulates Johny to his birthday and tells him:
"May you live so many years, how many steps you made to the church during these years!"
Suddenly appears the Death and tells Johny:
"Have you heard your Granny's wish?
So, pack up your suitcases, tomorrow you'll finally go with me, mac!
Those 4 steps will not save ya!"
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A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly.
Suddenly, Lorraine died.
At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road?
The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.
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It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured.
It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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