The best death jokes

Q: What did the Alabama Sheriff call the black man who shot himself 15 times? A: The worst suicide case he has ever seen.
Vote: has 42.67 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, cop, death, racist
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Vote: has 42.25 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
Vote: has 41.91 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called the vicar who had married her. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I have had a dreadful fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the Reverend, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what on earth am I going to do with the body?"
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, marriage, wedding
There was a blonde who tried to hang herself and a diffrent blonde came in and saw her hanging from her stomach and said," your supposed to hang yourself from your neck. And she said," i tried that but i couldnt breath.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, death
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault. The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, money
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
Vote: has 39.94 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss. "Sir, please calm down," the manager replied. "It's dead. It can't bother you now." "The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said. "It's his pallbearers."
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death
A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting. I'm not getting up."
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, sport
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, couple, death, winter