A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear.
They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead.
Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault.
The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
It is better to give than to receive.
This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.
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"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter.
To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
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Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch...
Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
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The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
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Aliens do exist.
They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
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Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan?
He got cut off without a scent.
Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions
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Curiosity didn't kill the cat.
Chuck Norris did.
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